Valerie
Zhss, NYJC, SMU
sammificated
De Parti.

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Lets slow down
and start going backwards.

I love my boyfriend. :)

Dinner at Giraffe. The service was horrid but thank goodness the waiter had this poor-thing face so we didnt get pissed with him. And to make things better, it was coincidentally ladies night today and so there was the 1-for-1 main course promo. Damn shiok. And they forgot to include our soda in the bill. HAHAH!

After which, we went for a basic tshirt shopping. Therapy is good. ;)

I'm feeling unknowingly stressed again. Things are starting to accelerate. And I hate it when the TA doesnt reply my email, like I asked for a swap of presentation date cause in class he said it was allowed, then now hes not replying me. So, I'm left hanging, unsure if I'm going to present in Week 9, or Week 5. Makes a big difference laaaa. Asshole. And I'm starting to have bulks of email chains. HATE IT. And my boss is calling me, breathing down my neck.

I need alone time to sleep and do nothing, with my boyfriend. Oh but to make me feel super excited, Samuel is going to be silly with me this Saturday. I always wanted to do this, but I always think its damn stupid. But it will be fun! So hes going to try it out with me. HAHHA! Shalt say what cause if it fails, it will be even stupider.

I'm going on a recee for our camp's expedition tomorrow. Honestly, I'm feeling a little dead for it. But we'll see, I always end up having fun.

SUPER cute meowmeowsssssssssss!! :))) I like hanging out with my girl-boyfriend Jean. She carries the clothes I want to try, she chooses clothes for me and also, when I got rubbish in my hand (and I hate it), I can just pass it to her and she will take it for me. HA. LOVE leh.

And yup, Have fun in school Jean. But please come out to civilisation as much as you can, cause I out here all alone. D:

I just saw this on Samuel's fb page and I cnt stop laughing.

Afiq Kosnan sir..im awaiting for you highly anticipated arrival. Please train me up soon! im developing women's chest already... hahaha....thanks for the wish bro..

Samuel Ee Chin Ann lol soon soon....! im not used to training women though...hmmm muz do some research alr...

HAHHHAHAH. I always find v amusing stuff on Samuel's fb page.

Why dont we have such vintage photo booths in Singapore? I should import one and earn big bucks from it. I bet alot of people would love to use such photo booths. Its different taking photos from a camera and from a booth. And its different that your photos come out individually and not in a strip of 4. It is different.

And here is it, my usual reflective entry after a camp meeting.

I went for the meeting feeling nervous. I even forced myself to leave Samuel earlier so that I can feel the grounds at the centre before the meeting. But glad I went there earlier, cause it gave me enough time to loosen up and to talk to Eileen. Talking to Eileen makes you calm. HAHHA. Macciam drugs la.

So yes, people started streaming in. And best of all, its all the people whom I dont know at all. The JC1 students. Okay and soon meeting started. To be frank, I was super unprepared, thats why I was nervous. Justin, Eileen and I only met up on Thurs night to talk about the camp proper and the meeting agenda. Then I had readings to do after I got home on Thurs night, den Fri I had class early in the morn all the way to 315pm. So I was practically shagged out after class. I was so tired I couldnt even be myself and was getting nervous. So ya, sat at the library and cleared up the meeting agenda, thought about the icebreaker, troubleshooted everything. But there were still gaps inbetween and alot room for flaws. But ya, what the heck, just whack.

Meeting went on and I guess the people were all very nice and receptive to what I was saying. So that made me alot calmer. The calmer and natural I am, the more I deliver. So ya same goes when I talk in class, when I force myself to talk, its fake and horrid. When I talk naturally to raise a point in class, I feel good about myself. Ya so everyone was super nice cannn. Like when you talk, they nod, they respond, they pay attention. Super nice. :)

And best of all, I think they are starting to embrace the "just throw your image away and be yourself" theme that I wanted them to discover. Its just the 1st meeting, so I'm sure soon, they will love each other so much that they can laugh at each other and also laugh at themselves. And make the kids laugh and let the kids laugh at them.

I'm excited for Camp Toy Story 3C. It will be perfect.

OH NO. Dear and I forgot to take a photo yesterday. D:

We have the 1 photo per outing policy. HAHHA!

But I think on dates when we just watch a movie, eat some fast food, we generally dont have the need to take photos. So ya, I was super nice and decided to ask Samuel to watch the Expendables. Okay I was thinking, it cant be that bad ba, it should be exciting in a way of another. Truth is, yes it was damn exciting- killing, shooting, stabbing, bombing. Its a damn manly show, its manly until no kissing scene type. HAHHA. Just kill. Its a manly flick. Like no plot, no concrete storyline, we need to kill so we kill!

I had a terrible headache after the movie. The "bang bang bang" and "boom boom boom" kept ringing in my head. Like it was toooo much for me to handle during the last scene (like the climax of the show). Non stop noise, worse than rock concert. Ya, my headache was sooo bad that it progressed into me wanting to puke on the way home. D:

Dear was nice to me when I wanted to puke. I'm pretty annoying and bitchy when I'm unwell.

Now the camp has a name.

Toy Story 3C. I'm loving it already. I cant contain my joy for it. Its going to be kick ass and I know it will be.

Let me consolidate my thoughts about yesterday.

HPAIR 2010. Bored me to death. HAHAHHA! I was pmsy so I didnt do anything to help, ya, I'm that annoying. I guess the whole thing wasnt even planned well from the start. We were told to reach at 10am for a briefing, but at about 1040am nothing was going on, so we were damn rebellious so we headed for breakfast. After that, we reached back again at about 11+ and the briefing of no meaning started and ended telling us we can have lunch soon. They catered lunch for us. And we waited and waited and at about 1+, we were finally asked to go for lunch. After lunch, the delegates came and they had their buffet lunch while a few of them came over to the booths. We were at the booths. Their lunchtime was was barely an hour and the delegates had to rush off to another seminar already. ZZZ.

So the delegates left, and being rebellious, we went to the buffet tables to have our share of the good buffet. HAH. So thats all we did for HPAIR.

I hate having the pukish feeling. Like my stomach is swirling and I feel substance in my throat all ready to push themselves out of my mouth. I dont want to puke. I think I've no puke since like seconday school or something. I really hate puking. D:

I'm sick and I'm needy. I need someone to worry for me, concern for me, wouldnt want to leave me when I'm feeling unwell, who will rush to me the minute time allows, who will be sweet and accomodating to all my wants. Cause I am sick what. D: SIGH. Doesnt happen in my reality. My NS bf is just too tired he wants to sleep asap. And hes in camp so he cant do anything.

Why am I putting myself in such circumstances? D:

I'm in extreme PMS mode. Its the typical, I feel so ugly, I feel so unloved, I feel so drowsy, I feel so hopeless in life, I feel stupid and mediocre, I feel so heavy, I feel so alone, I dont feel like talking, I dont feel like leaving my bed, I dont feel like seeing anyone, I dont feel like going to school, I dont feel like doing work, I dont feel happy.

FUCK. I'm like a depressed kid. I need PMS to end quick, I got work to do. I need to class part in class!! ARGH!

My hair is jet black now. :)

This is a rough patch. I must keep my spirits high. I must not give up hope. I must not be sad. I must stop thinking. I must remove this burden. I must not let it affect my life. I must continue being happy. I must stop thinking negatively.

YEAHYEAHYEAH! We learnt how to pipe roses in class today. I seriously wanted to give up halfway like cause I was the worst in class and I just couldnt get it. You know, the more you cant get it, the more dulan you become, the worse everything turns out. So ya, I was trapped in that cycle and was just extremely dulan with myself and with all the buttercream and all the mess.

But yup, after spending practically the whole day, I've finally made some decent roses. :) I'm sooo proud of myself you knoww. Like I feel like I'm top of the world now. I know once I compare my roses to my friends' or classmates', mine confirm damn cui la, but I dont care. As of now, they look as pretty as real roses. HAHAH.

And I made blue roses cause one of the most beautiful bouquet of flowers Samuel gave to me was blue roses. So gay ah. I was supposed to think of a concept for my final cake and I had to incorporate 5 roses in it. So ya, decided to make something from my fond memories. As long as its from a part of my memory, a part of me, I'm sure my cake will look beautiful.

1 yr of NS down, 1 more year to go. As much as I hate mid points in life in ns in relationships, I'm pretty sure I still love my bf alot. I'm looking forward to see him commission, to ogle at him in his uniform, to be there with him.

The first time I pipe buttercream seriously. K I know it looks quite cui, but it is great effort. And the whole process of making buttercream and mixing the colours can kill me already. Before I can even think of piping stuff, I'm already half dead. Cake decorating is serious business manz. No joke.

I am tired already!!

First day of school was okay, not fantastic cause I didnt class part. Damn I'm mediocre. I need warming up.

Okay and I forgot to do 1 part of my cake decorating class hmwork, so I must chiong it tomorrow. Hate it when I cannot go to sleep peacefully.

I'm still coping with everything so I'm still very unsure and forgetful about my schedule. No one to blame but myself. So SORRRY to those that I confused and made frustrated. =/

I got my Understanding Soci mod! Yeah!! 5 mods this sem. Never did it before so Good luck to me.

And I really want to spend more time with Samuel. I miss hanging out with him, going out the whole day, having nice dinners, staying over, and being in the lovey dovey bubble with him. The bubble when we can just keep talking to each other and gaze into each other's eyes. I just miss having gay couple fun with him. D:

YEAH! THAI GIRLS! HAHAHHAHH!! No wonder Samuel said it was fun(ny).

This photo is for Dear. Dear look at the kittens I told you about! =))

I pictured,

Guy comes home, sees the girl that he has been missing, hugs her and lets her know that he doesnt want to be apart from her again.

Another day out due to randomness. HAHAH! Random meet ups always bring about a nice feeling about it. Its like yeahh, so random but so fun! Makes the fun doubly fun. Okay, if you know what I mean. We can talk until we totally got a shock when we saw the time. =)

OMG BF IS BACK! BYE!

Random dessert, lan, supper. Randomness is good. =)

And I cannot stop laughing when playing warcraft. HAHAH! The Meelees (I dont know how to spell!) are damn cute. I dont know why too but the way they take lumber and gold makes me happy. HAHHAH! So people, next time jio me for Warcraft and not L4D k.

My heart is racing. BYEBYE 'Singlehood' HELLO Dear! =))

I'm so excited I keep thinking its today. Like I will think 'What time should I leave my house for the airport later". Crazy already.

This is the loooooongest time we've been seperated. And last 9days was also the loooooongest time we've not contacted each other. I'm really glad Samuel didnt have too hard a time when he was outfield. He seemed to have enjoyed it actually. And I think its an experience not everyone can go through so it must have been awesome. Of course, I enjoyed myself here too. I'm glad I had friends to occupy my time. I had sufficient alone time, more than enough happy friend times, enough chilling, enough shopping, enough girly talks, enough manly talks. I have quite a perfect life eh.

Now I'm so excited like I'm going to redeem my jackpot prize tomorrow. =)

My boyfriend is coming home tomorrow! :) And I'm going to be the No 1 gf and head down to the airport in the middle of the night to catch a glimpse of him. HAHA! And to give him the biggest hug in the whole wide world. But I'm on a deficit of hugs now, need to replenish the supply again.

I wonder if we will still be celebrating our anniversary since it has passed for like a week already.

Okay, what terrible photos. Went for Darren's birthday at YMCA rooftop. I must say, this is a very different crowd for a birthday party. Darren is like a full fletched adult already. He mixes with adults and are friends with adults. For most of the time I was at the party, I was the only girl. The rest were women. Darren is a nice dude and its sweet that he invited me. Thank goodness Yiliang was there to talk cock with me. And Albert Ching sat with us to kinda talk cock too. HAH! Darren will have a bright future ahead of him.

I'm sooooo happy we talked like crazy bitches. =)

Hello old friends. =) Oh and I think God is fair and God gave me a small face. HAHAH!

It was nice just chilling out and doing almost nothing today with Aud, Lu and Siewhoon. We just sat down, talk Idunowhat and time just floated away. I really really really wonder when we will meet up again. Cause I was telling them, once school begins, NUS ppl goes on with life at NUS and NTU ppl are even worse, far far FAR away. I dont want school to begin cause I know my friends from these schools will just drift back to their school term hideouts. D:

Sigh. Time to face reality and enter vista to do my readings.

My digi cam sucks har. My internship is kinda kicking ass. I still get to help with Channel News Asia filming. It was quite an experience I must say. And the crew were very excited to tell me about their job stories and I'm very excited to hear them too. =)

I'm so gonna get an internship at Mediacorp next summer. But $10-20 per day. Erh. We'll see how ah. But maybe by then, they dont remember me already.

Even though I'm kinda like free labour yesterday, I really didnt mind. I got to meet my neighbours who were very happy to see me. And Uncle still asked me how much do cashiers earned at my workplace, $6, so he offered me $6.50 per hour if I work at his provision shop. HA. Then they were saying next time if I'm free, I can follow them to the coffee bean factory and see how they roast coffeebeans. Damn Awesome.

Yesterday was a excellent day, really. I've learnt so much about media and filming. I've spent like an hour just chatting with the Uncles. I'm macciam their grand daughter or sth. And I felt so much love from my friends yesterday. And also, SAMUEL CALLED ME. HAH. =) He called me even before he brushed his teeth. Ya, big deal can, he didnt brush his teeth for 9 days already. HAHAH!