Valerie
Zhss, NYJC, SMU
sammificated
De Parti.

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Lets slow down
and start going backwards.

I'm no where close to finishing my revision.

A wreck of emotion;
a mannequin's unreal attention.
A vomit of feelings;
buckets of crocodile tearings.
Meaningless tease,
A life of drunken stories.

Used and wasted in life.

Good Luck sponge bobby! Hope your prelims will be fine. Dont worry about it cause you still have the As to PEAK it. See you on Friday! =)


Crazy woman.

HAHAHAH.


I really wonder why am I doing this too.

I may dress differently, but that does not deem me as someone who has a lack of proper fashion sense. I believe that what I wear is just a better form of expression. We are just world's apart.



Victim of insensitivity.

I dont want to squeeze into a box I dont like.
I dont want to quicken my pace just to be on par with the rest.
I dont want to lead the life that everyone is expected to.
I dont want to excel because to excel is the right thing to do.

I want to be brave enough to lead a life out of the box.
I want to let my emotions run free and wild.
I want to be who I exactly want to be.
I want the world to appreciate the good and not just the intelligent.

When will I muster enough courage to just follow my heart?
Why doesnt society accept all heart-followers?
Its my heart and why cant I follow it?
Why must I follow society's heart?
Is there even a heart in society?
Where's the soul of society?


When did the reason for living equates to the reason of survival?
Can anyone survive in this world by mapping their own paths?



Dont have to answer the qns. There are no ans to them.

I sat and waited. Felt my gastric churning and giving me signals that it was in pain. So tempted to leave, I made myself think of how tired he was but he was still making his way to Bishan to send me home. After staring at the road for sometime, I turned to my left and I spotted someone looking at me from afar. He had cute hair and his shoulders were so broad. I couldnt make myself see this tall figure for more than a sec. I dont wish to die electricuted. As he approached me, my gastric pain melted and I felt so at bliss. And at that point of time, all I could think of was...







"DAMN! MY BOYFRIEND IS HOT."

I'm a servant of this world. I lead the life the world wants me to. I follow orders and obey rules. I'm born to be manipulated like a puppet. I must study to fufil the world's sterotype of what is successful. I must score well to get a better job next time. The world needs money to keep it running and I'm merely a tool to help satisfy its wants.

What do you get when Muthu cheats Valerie of her money by giving her PEANUT prata instead of MUSHROOM prata?

Valerie gets a free dinner of 2 pratas.
Muthu loses money.

As I listen to the tunes from the radio, I drifted into moments of tranquility. In this state of trance, the past took me away. Those memories close to my heart, yet so far away in reality. Evocative thoughts, nostalgic feelings. How I would love to let my soul head back to enjoy the euphoric youth then. Its clear that I will never be able to revel in the innocence of life that I did before. Its impossible to relive memories then, today. No two memories will ever alike.

Life has no U-turns, once started, you just have to keep moving forward.

Bye Bye YMCA (for now.)
Bye to the fun loving people.
Bye to the caring and sharing between volunteers.
Bye to giving your best to make someone happy.
Bye to my escape from the urbanised world.
I'll be back as soon as I can.

The 1km walk yesterday was messy but it still ahd its perks in between. Like seeing..

President Nathan. Hahahaha. He seems to be a rather nice man cause despite all the pushes from his body guards, he still asked if we were from YMCA. Heheheh. Khar went insane after that.

Took photos along the way despite the BIG crowd of thousands of people. Tiying, Khar, Khar's friend Michelle and I were together throughout the walk.


Downpour after the walk and we were stranded in the shelter. But it was nice watching Yew Chong and Yihui compete in who-finishes-cornflakes-first, playing balloons with lil malay boys, taking stupid photos (Yew Chong strangling Tiying with the raincoat), playing the the YMCA flag "Qiao Ru lives lifting Tiying".....






Left when it was still raining and I took a bus down to Novena to meet the usuals, minus Lulu and Siewhoon. Mugged quite hard from 2 to about 6pm. Did nothing much from 6 to 730, took photos again.


Aud and I. =)


Gay Ed. HAHAHA.

Headed down for pastamania dinner and Siewhoon arrived. We proceeded to Raffles Place. Laughed quite alot on the train.

Walked through muddy land and reached a good spot for the FIREWORKS. ITS DAMN NICE. I felt like I was in magical wonderland with gold dust falling onto me. It was damn preetty and I decided I want fireworks on my wedding. Eh, any interested sponsors? =X


Ya, me.

And we hopped on Yuting's dad's ride. It was a great experience taking the van with them. Yuting was quite tired and restless already but he suddenly spoke after some time about how amazed he was at Aud and I, for speaking so much despite the lack of a proper topic. He said we will have even more fun if we get trapped in the prison cell together. =/ HAHAH. Okay, I didnt realise that but all I knew was that I was having alot of fun. Hehehehe. =))





I love yesterday and every other Saturdays.

Lastly,
Samuel is the sweeeeeetest guy anyone would dream of having. =)

URBAN URBAN URBAN.
URBAN URBAN.
URBAN.

This is what my mind is flooded with.

ACHE ACHE ACHE.
ACHE ACHE.
AHCE.

This is how my poor hand is feeling.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..
Audrey Koh's notes SUCK BIG TIME. I dont see how I can digest the notes if there are so many pages with like essay lengths notes. I see SO many typo errors and the headings are not organised. See, thats why everyone wanted Jonathan Ng to go through Urbanisation with us. She just merely reads from the lecture notes during lectures and I see no point in it at all. ARGHHHHHH!!!

INSANITY.

On a lighter note, Jonathan Ng is my favouritest teacher! =) He's so sweeeeeeeet.

He let us off to do our essay at any corner of e sch cause e aircon in the LT wasnt working.
He did midyrs essay outlines so detailed just for us.
He thinks that every qn we ask is absolutely relevant and interesting.
He teaches us until we really understand before he moves on.
He is so understanding and gives us ample time to finish the assignments.
He allows us to do essays together as a group effort.
He lets us refer to notes during time practice cause he knows that we can handle 2 essay-tests in a week.
He offers clinics and consultations all the time.
He made me fall in love with ATMOSPHERE and GLOBALISATION.
He gives encouraging comments when he marks our essays.
He is very calm and always let us feel that there is still hope.
He conducts extra lessons for the S and U people. (I'm so gonna join them!)
He teaches so well that I embrace the tricellular cell now.
He uses funny catch phrases like "tweety birds ard your head" and recently "I hope the birds are dead already." Okay, its really funny.
He is not biased and does not focus on any particular cliques.
He is like our BIG brother, a father figure, someone that doesnt allow distance between students and him.

When he smiles, the whole world smiles with him.
AWWWWWWWWWW...
Where oh where can I find a better teacher than him.

I feel so happy and rejuvenated again. =)

Having decided to skip school today, it started off as an expression of rebellion but I ended up with a tummy ache, so... I was unfit for school.

I studied my guts out today for Urbanisation. (Real life context: I'm caught in urbanisation and I hate it.) But for some reason, no matter how much I study, the progrss is just too slow. My hand was so tired of writing notes that my font started getting too wriggly. And the DJ on 98.7fm was so irritating. So I decided to let myself rest.

I dont want to go to school tomorrow. I rather stay home and just keep studying.

Just a few more weeks and it will be prelims. Then another 2weeks or so, my As will be here. Actually, I'm looking forward to it. I'm just too sick of the nonsense now.

I shall go indulge in food now.

To the radio: STOP TAKING AWAY THE WORD *SHIT* FROM "TEENAGERS".

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.

When was life supposed to be meaningless? I really dont want to live my life in a damn routine. Isnt there more to life than just dreading weekdays? I'm trapped in this vexatious school life. I realised how I starting emo-ing when I reached JC. I was a happy kid in Sec school. All I did was laugh and play during lessons, slack after school, peep at Samuel when I walk pass his class, and just being myself.

But now, its so repulsive to look at what I've become. I've changed into someone who does what society demands from me. Having to hide so much, hatred, angst, repugnance start to develop in me. I have no one to turn to and share my sorrows about school cause everyone will just shun me off telling me I must learn to love. Seriously, I CANT DO IT. I HHHAAATTTEEE my school life.

School life is not about wanting to leave it all the time. School life is not about stoning meaninglessly during lessons. School life is not about being competitive over silly stuff. School life is not about being bitchy about everything.

This show is ending soon. Can everyone slap whoever they dont like and hug whoever they love?

Its a MAGIC trick.
AUDREY IS FREAKING CUTE LAAAAA. HAHAHAHHA!!! We were talking happily and she was wiping her mouth when she decided to(God knows why) stuff tissue into her mouth. She took it out calmly and said the above quote, "its a magic trick!" AND............

Yuting, Edward and I couldnt take it. We started laughing like insane kids. I laughed till my stomach hurts, Yuting laughed till his jaws felt numb, Ed teared. HAHAHA. ITS WAS SUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPER funny!!!!

Okay, this section is specially dedicated to Audrey, the magician.


--------------------------------------

I had fun today and I must say, I LOVE Y-READING!!!! I love the crew, I love the beneficiaries, I love Pauline, I love doing stupid things like being paparazzi. I LOVE IT. I think the team of volunteers today ROCKed it. =))))

Even though there were many downs at the start, we still managed to keep the icebreaker games alive. Hhahaha. The performance by the Koreans were really uplifting (esp the one with the rain dance thing) and the telematches by the church people were quite cute (esp the one that you just do ntg but throw balls at the war of people).

Khar was busking in love most of the time. HAHAHAHA. =D "Dont bully Qiao Ru~" Okay, I shall stop it before she kills me. Hehehe. Tiying is Snow White today. HAHAHHA. Okay, so fun. =P

Bday surprise for Darren went well too!! Stupid china man.

Lunch with a few of them and Pauline was nice. THANKS PAULINE FOR THE TREAT! =)


Presenting you the Y-reading facilitators + Pauline + Nicole from the centre.


And every one with the Korean boy's pose (see below).


Chuch people + YMCA dudes in full force.


SUPER CUTE Korean lil boy.


CUTE lil boy again with his Dad, Tiying and I.


ANOTHER cute korean boy. HAHHAHA.


DONUTS! =)


Bday!

Boy, I'll miss them all. Its really nice to be helping others, making great friends and being in a team. =) I guess this is one "CCA" I will stay on for long.

I CANT STOP WATCHING THE POTTER PUPPETS. HAHAHHA. =DDDDD It makes me happpy.

And so, yesterday was NATIONAL DAY. (happy bday Singapore!) I went down to Marina Sq with Samuel and we met many people there. It started off with Hekming scaring me, unintentionally, when I was eating. Imagine a BIG SIZED AH BENG standing by your table, yes, thats scary.

After viewing the fireworks and walking to the MRT station, we met Samuel's group of friends. Then upon squeezing through the BIGBIGBIGBIGBIGBIGBIG crowd, guess what? We met my parents and my sis. "Its a small world afterall, its a small world afterall~"

Sorry to Samuel for having a small moodswing while waiting for the fireworks. I was bored and being short, I felt that people are taking away my supply of O2. =/ I just felt tiny. Okay, but I recovered after viewing the pretty fireworks. Its not THAT pretty actually.

I still enjoyed my day nonetheless.

HAPPY 42 BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4&mode=related&search=
Watch it!!
Its DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN funny.
HAHAHHAHA.

Make them last. Make them last. Make them last.

Secret is a splendid show. Mr Jay Chou is really a talented man. This is no ordinary love show. It shows the pain, the yearning, the helplessness, the desperation. And on top of it, there were still sweet and happy moments. Its really a show that depicts love in reality. OH~ What a nice CHINESE show. HAHAHHA.

Happy post anniversary!

HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY
ANNIVERSARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Bye Bye happiness.
Bye Bye excitement.
Bye Bye weekend.

Hello weekday.
#*&%&(@$^@(*#^* !

THREE MORE DAYS.
Three more days to what?
National Day eve? yes, but more than that.
Geog Mock Prelims? Sadly, yes, but there's MORE!
Now, here's a clue to the people who have tweety birds flying around their heads. ( Mr Ng's quote)



Still feeling confused?
His birthday? Nope.

I feel stupid talking to myself already. HAHAHA.
Shall stop here. Happy guessing.

Oh darling, darling, stand by me~

I LOVE MY SATURDAYS. But the more I love it, the faster time will pass. See how unfair life will always be. Finally, the whole group of us got together. Ed's fault for always having activities on Sat. I feel so thankful all over again. I know that no matter what problems I may face next time, I have this whole group of old friends standing by me. =) I look forward to seeeeeeing them again!

Happy Valentine's Day, Siewhoon! Hahahaha. Busk in the beauty of LOVE.

I'm so gonna find out the mystery of the long queues for donuts. Being a young and aspiring entrepreneur, everything that tempts consumers, tempts me.

When darkness turns to light...

How would it feel to know that you are dying but not be able to do anything about it? I've thought about it really carefully and felt that if I were to leave one day (of course I will), I want to leave the world happy. I want the world to know that I've gone to a happy lala land and they should not mourn over me.

I want everyone to notice my departure and wish me all the best in it. I dont want to be sweeping the clouds (like what Mrs Teo wants), I want to be lying happily in the clouds, eating cotton candy and enjoying myself all day. I will wait to be reincarnated. =)

I want to leave the world with everyone missing me, but not how-I-wish-you-are-alive but it-was-nice-having-you-around. I want all my friends to remember me and I want Samuel to remain single for at least 1 year. (HAHAH!) Attendence to my funeral is compulsory and everyone must be in the bright and cheerful colour of yellow.

Okay, this is so unaspicious. But seriously, when I start to think alot, I will start to realise the beauty in what I own. I have a SUPER NICE AND SUPER CUTE boyfriend. I have my own clique who cares so much for me in school. I have the saturday gang to make me have something to look forward to everyday. I have many other sec school friends that love me too.

Nothing is real until it is lost. (I think this line comes from the OST of the Transfomers, but think of it like a Literature quote.)

Death should not be called death. I rather call it After-life.

COME ON! Dont worrrrrry! I'm not dying, I'm just stuck in my imaginative world. Trust Barney. (HAHAHA. Econs joke.)