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De Parti.

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Lets slow down
and start going backwards.

This week has been amazing. But theres always a price to pay when you have so many things to do, I'M SO TIRED NOW.

I have stuff on everyday after school and despite that, I have to squeeze in time to complete my assignments. Gosh, I'm feeling the heat alr. Projects stepping in, long list of assignments, complicated lesson topics, uncooperative group members, superficial people, all those shit. But still, I'm surviving strong.

I may be cranky these few days, but give me some time to adapt. Its like 8mths not studying and suddenly BAM! I'm hit with like dozen and one nonsense to cope with. So yes, bear with me!

But amongst all the crap I'm facing, there's still some things that are making my days happy. Meeting up with Audrey to do our new project, meeting with Yiling for shopping and afternn tea and magazine reading, meeting Uni Y people, meeting Y camp com, meeting a small portion of Y clique anddddd, I actually went shopping with a new SMU friend today. =)

Shes really similar to me in many areas so its like I can click with her. Like finally, a buddy and not just acquaintance. Shopping with her was enjoyable and a good stress relief. Felt so relieved of my worries after it. Its instant therapy! Not only was I able to shop happily and buy new hairbands, I finally got a good friend who understands. Who knows, you guys might see photos of her in my blog soon.

Yup, and as you can tell, theres not much about my boyfriend this week, let alone the weekend cause hes got chalet again. Its like even in his holidays, he's busy. I think he should owe me a dress or maybe the yellow bag that I'm dying to get from C&K. =/

No matter how much everything may change, I will always have the same back to lean on.

My Sunday was filled with ultimate gaiety, thanks to Samuel. Sometimes I should just let go of conformity and let myself have all the fun I deserve. Samuel pushes me out of my boundaries. He can put me into trance for the whole day, make me laugh like thunder, heck-care messy hair, hum silly tunes, basically just be silly for the fun of it.

Perhaps now, I'm really fufilling what people say of one acting different in front of their other halves. The difference is that I'm stupider in front of Samuel.

mypictureproject.com

1. Check it out.
2. Enjoy art and appreciate the amazing works.
3. Feel the love.
4. Spread this website around.

THANKS SO MUCH! =))

Hope a rich and kind hearted person/ corporation comes along to purchase these artworks. Take this as a generous donation and not as the exorbitant price of the paintings. Let your money do some work for you- let your money not just build ur own empire, let your money build the future of others. With the joing forces of your true inner heart, and your financial heart, you can achieve greatness. You can become a super hero to a school of the disfortunate, you can be the ruler of their future, you can be the goddess of mercy on Earth, you can have all the fame and glory and you deserve it.

So people with the money to spare, do your part! =))

I really wonder if substantial people read my blog. HAHAH! Surprise me.

I will not be intimidated. I will conquer all courses. I will enjoy classes. I am ready to achieve. I am interested in business. Think about your future. My future awaits me. I can strive to be my best.

RAWRRRRRRR!! I CAN DO IT!!!

Yesterday was amazing. I'm going to start my journey into the future soon and ytd made me feel like I'm ready. The day started off with Convocation 2008, my FTB group is really the type of people I want to be friends with. Fun, happening yet friendly and welcoming. =)

Met up with AUDREY after which. Even though its just a short 3 hours, it was good enough. I'm sure we will meet up again very soon. RIGHT? hahahha. Meeting old friends is like eating comfort food, even though you will finish it really quickly, eating it is- joy. Its like a hot coffee on a cold rainy day, ice cream on an oppressing hot day, chicken rice when I'm hungry. Yup, that really expresses how I felt yesterday. =)

Then, the night was spent at toa payoh sports hall. Waiting waiting waiting, then watching Samuel do his wushu thing. I was impressed. Hahahah. More today.

Alright, tomorrow will mark the last day of the longest holiday in my life.

And tomorrow will be another challenge for me.

I promise myself to be super enthu to make friends during lunch and during convocation tml. I can do it.

Even though I'm going to sit with people who alr know each other through the camp. I must be positive then I can make friends easily. I really hope they will not leave me out. Hope they are nice people.

Even if all else fails, I will be meeting Audrey and Samuel after that. =)

The voices in my head keep me from being myself.
Or perhaps, this is the real me.

Can I stop questioning myself so much and just let loose?

Samuel's home and I'm happier. =)

And now I know, some friends will stay with you forever. I guess its especially those who study hard with you, then play hard with you. Its like during JC days, we study like crazy, resist (most) temptations, overcome stress and failures, encourage each other to keep pressing on, dream about our future and make lists of after-As programmes together.

And after As, we still stick to each other, fufilling those plans made. Its like naturally a day of the week is blocked out just for us. We do repetitive stuff but still have fun the next time round. Every outing is memorable on its own. The nonsense we harp on, the gossips we share, the insecurities we pour out, the plans of our future, we just cannot stop talking.

Friends, we should meet up again soon. Lets study like how we used to study before. =)

(This entry is for all those that fit the above description. Shalt name names.)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/boboniaa
People like her make me grumble that I have not enough clothes. Shes way cooooool. Take me to Thailand this instance! I'm going to rampage through the hideouts where she got her clothes from. AHHH!

Fashion expresses more than pictures, explains more than words.

I'm so in the mood to raid my closet for the umpteen time. HAHA. Perhaps its all the excitement for Samuel's return thats making me want to show it in my outfits. Its like an outburst. =DD It keeps me alive!!!!!!!

The day after tml, aka tml tml. Hahahah.
The more I say it, the more I excited I get.

2 more gdnight msges to Samuel and he can finally reply goodnight personally. =)
My Best friend is coming back!

Saying I'm ecstatic, effervescent and exuberant is just not enough. I'm just going to blow up in anticipation.

Lalalalalaaaaa, did more time pass? Hahhaha.

AH, 3 grueling days.

3 more days and..

no more lovesick blog entries
no more emo nights
no more lonely weekends
no more zombified smiles
no more sad songs

But thats 3 days later.

However the overwhelming love I felt when I saw the surprise present in my closet shall be my pushing motivation. The moment I opened the present, I went crazy. =))) Worst thing is that Samuel cooperated with my Dad. My Dad is super enthu at such things so neither does my Dad nor Samuel wants to tell me how did the present end up there. He thinks I'm stupid enough to believe him that Samuel flew back. =/ Hahahah.

3 more days.

This is it, in approx 3hrs, it will be Our 4th Anniversary. I'm actually excited for it now.

Its not just about the celebration but its about the fact that we have been tied together for 4 years alr. Its like time symbolises how much we've gone through together. The word is TOGETHER. After stepping into this relationship, theres no longer me or him, its us. I can no longer just feel for myself, I no longer worry just for myself, feel pain only when I'm in pain. When hes hurt, I feel twice the hurt, when hes happy, I feel so happy I could cry too. I love and get loved in return. =)

During these 4 years I think many would have seen the transformation of me. From someone who thinks she cannot commit, to someone who is so about staying in this relationship forever. From someone who doesnt speak of love, to someone who cannot stop harping on how much she loves Samuel. Things have changed these 4 years.

It may be a pity we cant be together physically this anniversary, but I'm sure emotionally, we are still knotted together. However so, it would be best if Samuel will surprise me by appearing at my doorstep at 12midnight tml. =/

Okay actually countdowns to anniversaries are redundant. Forever is uncountable. *CORNY!* Hahahaha.

Pardon my anxiety, outburst, insanity. I'm going through a super PMSy stage of my life. Seriously, you will never understand what I'm going through. Twice your troubles with new school life.

But of course, Samuel is still there for me. =)) 5 more days till he comes home and tml is our anniversary. But I will be fine spending the day away from him. I have my date alr and I really appreciate it when Tiying tries to ask me out too. Makes me feel unforgottened.

I'm letting FTB committee decide if I am fit enough for the camp. I'm waiting for their reply now and I hate suspense. But I believe mental disorders cannot be judged by anyone, not even myself. So, we'll see how. If I go for the camp, what keeps me standing would be the fact that when camp ends, Dear will be home in no time.

Call me a loser in love, but this is all the motivation I have now.

I Am Strong.
I Am Strong.
I Am Strong.
I Am Strong.

Even though everyone is leaving me and moving on, I can do it too. I will move on and be STRONG on my own. I can survive without friends.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK.

I'm excited to bid for my courses tml. I'm ready to start school and start being a (s)mugger. I decided that I will do my best these 4 years and make use of this opportunity given to me. I guess its okay even if I have or do not have any friends now, afterall, everyone will be seperated by the different preassigned courses as well. I'll have new friends soon.

But right now, I'm being extremely impatient for this week to end. Seriously, I've never wanted my holidays to pass as quickly as I want it to now. And when next week comes, I want it to pass as slowly as possible. =/

Okay lets make believe that today has ended. 6 more days!!

Today is a LOL day. I really laughed out loud, right from my heart. =)



Met up with Khar, TY, Yishan, Yiliang, Weiwen, Chris and *drum rolls* Yan An, who has been missing since donkey years ago. I'm really glad that he came too. I bet all those who didnt know were pleasantly surprised too.



Ice creamed at B&Js. Happy food with great company, what more can I ask for? (Besides having my boyfriend here.) I've gotten my YakPak too! Cool Shit.

Dinner next at Billy Bombers. It was madness with Yiliang there. Laughed like hell and I now know what I cant resist- cookies and cream milkshake. =DDDD Love it. LOVE LOVE LOVEEE!

Cant wait to see all the photos splashed on Facebook. Cant wait to see them again tml for dinner at lao pa sa. Food AGAIN! AWESOME!

Yan An taught me serious stuff today. I think I will take this advice a long way thru my Uni life. Since I'm given this opportunity to enter a good Uni, I will do the best out of it. I'm going to shine. I wont let minor stuff like having friends affect my progress. And I will let every challenge stretch my limit. I will keep going further and further. =) I can do it!!! Whatever happens, I know there will be people supporting me.

I Love Y Clique and I hope Uni will not seperate us, Ever.

Lucky- Jason Mraz feat Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

=)))))))))

HATE the radio on Saturday nights. What makes them think that Saturday nights are for techno? HATE IT. =/



Flea marketted today with Cheryl and Eric. I bought a damn cute bag. =) SOOO HAPPPPY cause it costs $3 only. Its like the same thrill when I buy damn expensive stuff. Prices in between gives no excitement. Eric bought a card game for $3 too. He said Mind(s) Cafe sells it at $50. Woah, brilliant purchase!



Then dinnered with my family at this cool neighbourhood hideout. Its like in the midst of Clementi HDB flats. Its like mini Holland V. Cool shit. Had chinese food and ang mo dessert. Icecream sure does wonders. It makes me happy. =)



Dear is going to climb the Great Wall tml while I will have happy food again tml. Y Clique! And we are going to dress up tml! =) And I'm going to get my $29.90 Yakpak tml! AHH, so excited! Comfort food and shopping makes me euphoric.



I guess I'm recovering, the thought of rushing everyday away makes me feel better. I must really thank all those that are occupying my days with love.

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

Life without Dear is misery. Its like I have to be independent, I have to sleep without hearing his voice, I have to be happy without being able to share it with him, I have to keep all the gossips and secrets to myself. Dear is always there for me, happy or sad or scared, he's always there. Miss dear SO SO much.

AWESOME, Dear just msged me. =DD I'm in HEAVEN. SING WITH ME~~~ LALALALALA~ Dear is shopping now. I bet he's buying the whole mall for me. =DDDDDD

Hahahah, I know Audrey so want to slap me now.

But dont get me wrong, when I go out with you guys these few days, I will still enjoy myself. Like today, taking things slow and simple with Audrey was great- Starbucked, window shopping and going nuts over converse shoes. And this person can really get me hyped up for more shopping. Gawd, I wasnt in the mood at first la. But now, I'm so ready to slurge again.

Okay, right now, I'm determined to study like shat when I start school. I shall not like minor stuff like whether I will have friends or not, or if I look cool and rich or not, to affect my main goal in Uni. I must build up my portfolio and be the most outstanding student ever. I'm da best. Thanks Aud for building up my confidence again. =)