Valerie
Zhss, NYJC, SMU
sammificated
De Parti.

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Lets slow down
and start going backwards.

Fail to plan, plan to fail.

If you wan to plan, plan it properly. If you dont have the heart and mind to do so, then dont. And if your planning transpire shit, clear your own shit. Dont let others do the job.

Waste my time and smses.

I'm the Nua monster today. NUAAAAAAAAA.
I think its cause I realised Stats Midterms is next next week and not next. So I'm slightly liberated from my sorrows for the time being.

I'm amazed at how many common friends I have with the YMCA people. This means, I have accumulated so many friends by joining Y activities. Talking about networking eh? Okay yes, I've been on Facebook and not doing my work.

Its the weather. Cause its hot then its cold. So hot in the morning that I dont feel like wearing jeans, its so cold in the afternn that I should have brought another jacket out. The weather really affects me alot. I'm like motioned by the weather. Which somehow reminds me of Slumdog Millionaire where the game determines hsi life, and his life is narrated by a game. Okay not much link but ya. Random thoughts that my mind is capable of.

Just a few short hours more, and I will be out of school. *beams*

Should I stay up till 3am again today? Then it will be the 4th day in a row. I'm shocked myself. Its 6 days into the mid term break alr, 3 more days and its terror upon terror upon terrrrrror.

As what Pearl said just now, "can I just stop school and not go into the next term?"

OMG. Wake up Wake up Wake up!!!
ZZZZZZZzzzzz.
Stuff toothpicks in my eyes.
Rub wasabi into my nose.

Somehow it reminds me how my friend's mum gave my pri sch teacher a packet of chilli padis, saying if my friend keeps blinking, stuff the chilli in his eyes. HAHAH and he curbed his blinking-too-often habit. I really wonder why did this friend go. He was like the monitor while I was the monitress in pri 1 or 2.

I want to be a kid again. Freeeeee and thoughtless.

I am waiting for Yining to come to GSR 3-7. BLARGHHHH.

Hello all YCC people reading my blog! Damn, cannot bitch about you guys alr. HAHA.



After yesterday, I realised no one can be absolutely unbiased. Even if it appears to be so, it is never so. Cause we are humans. I can totally lie to myself and not say anything to tarnish his already tarnished outlook but I just couldnt. Blame it all on first (few) impressions.



I believe first impressions can be altered. But this one's 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th.....impression is still the same. Perhaps that says something? But of course, there are still decades of life left, so this might just be the start of him changing himself. Maybe at 40yrs old, he will be the best guy on earth. Right? Who knows?



In school, perhaps your first impression of me will be, "N/A". Cause I dont leave any impression on anyone. I'm like a fleeting shadow la. Even people can come up to me and say "wah you in Uni Y ah? how come Uni Y didnt contact me?" or "wah you in exco? you went got interview ah?" HAHA. It doesnt matter to me, its actually rather amusing.



But of course, dont keep thinking of the impression you make on others. Just be yourself and your 'bad' 1st impression will just disappear. I think Tom is a perfect eg.



Oh well. Just random thoughts before I start mugging. BOOO. Hope qiqi and yiwei are enjoying their AW workshops now. =D

June YCC meeting was awesome. =)))))
As what Tom said, its great meeting everyone again.
It lifts me out of my stress momentarily.
But now, I need to gather all my wits and start work like before.

HURRAY FOR FUCKED UP GRPMATE.
I get to learn conflict management. *beams*

Edited:
ASSHOLE.
STOP BEING SO MORONIC CAUSE YOU ARE NOT THE LEADER OF THE GROUP. STOP BEHAVING LIKE A BITCH.
I KNOW YOU ARE NATURALLY A BITCH BUT HELL BE WITH YOU AND STOP THROWING YOUR WEIGHT AROUND.
YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK CAUSE ONE DAY I MIGHT RIP A TREE OFF ITS ROOTS AND WHACK YOU WITH IT.
BLOODY BASTARD. STOP THROWING YOUR DARTS ON ME CAUSE ULTIMATELY, YOU TARGETTING THE WRONG BOARD.
AS IF I WILL BOW DOWN TO YOU AND KISS YOUR BOOTS. YOU CAN JOLLY WELL KISS MY CANDY ASS CAUSE YOUR BLOODY DISGUISE IS MAKING ME NAUSEOUS. FAKE FROM DOWN RIGHT UNDER.

=)

Just a few days back, I was wondering, WHY DONT I HAVE A BEST FRIEND?

We will go out all the time.
Do all funny things together.
Buy presents for each other.
Talk about everything.
Dont worry about you choosing someone else over me.
You will tell everyone I'm your best friend.
I will tell everyone You are my best friend.
We will be together no matter what.
We will have secrets that no one else know.

I think I'm a person that floats around. I can be friends with everyone, but no one will treat me as their best friend. My group of friends changes all the time. Is it me not maintaining friendships? Or is it just that I change very easily? Or my friends are the hip, likeable people who get stolen away by others?

Mmmmmm...
I dont know too! =/

Valerie's will is strong than the frame she is in.
So shes going to mug all day and all night and not think about anything else.
Happy thoughts and gay ideas, and nothing else.
Time to live life for herself and live it to the fullest.
Cause I will never live today again, every day is special.
Even if I'm alone.
Cause being alone is bliss. I only care for myself.
I didnt know you before. So I will start living my life since it last ended.
Never will I be so obnoxious as I was.
If you can, why cant she? Shes as human as you are.
No one will overpower her mind and heart cause when the day ends,
she will lay in bed, with no one but herself.
Shes is real in her sleep, where she is free and thoughtless.
With more courage than she ever had, she will stop whining.
Whining about things that dont even deserve her efforts.
Not even basic rights and basic care.
Simple things that can easily please her.
She is not difficult.
All she wants is,
...

I never knew this day will come.

When I had the courage to wake up,
and stop living in the dream I was in.

Things are going to be different,
but I should deserve better.

Promises edged in my head,
they should be long forgotten.

Puffy eyes, sour voice,
and a very faint heart.

Honestly, I'm very glad that I joined Dec YCC comm. I've really gained so many close friends from it. Like REALLY REALLY. Sincere friends who will climb the mountains and swim the seas with me.

I'm damn touched by the things they can actually do for me. And I really enjoy every moment spent with them. I shall take time out to thank them genuinely.

Boss Yiwei.
He was my only good friend when I entered SMU. HAHA. I was so thankful that he accompanied me through matriculation. Not sure if all YCC bosses are so nice, but this boss is a reallllly goood friend. He photocopied part of his textbk so that I can borrow the book to do my homework. He needed the book for his work as well. I was damn guilty when I found out he photocopied it just to lend me.

I'm really happy that he joined April YCC to help me out. Hes there to support me and empower me to step up and be a leader. He has so many things to do himself but he will never fail to not help me when I needed help. When hes studying for his test, he can still ask me to nudge him on msn if I needed help in my Stats homework. And knowing I'm nt good at Biz Law, he even offered to do the homework with me.

And today, he accompanied me to Uni Y AGM when he has a test unstudied for tomorrow.

Next up, THAM YINING.

Got to know her from Dec YCC. She has been accompanying me to the Wellness Centre cause I was a lonely soul there. I'm damn touched by how she can take 1 hr out from her schedule just to accompany me do nothing. HAHHA.

And being as nerdy and loserish as I am, she makes me feel like its okay to be alone in SMU cause I've got her. We can bitch and gossip together and be happy about it. And studying with her is super condusive, its like locking ourselves up until we finish all our work.

And of course, she is helping me with April YCC. HELPING ALOT. Shes damn busy herself and has to lie to her Mum just so that she can come for camp meetings. She will always be there to tell me I can do it. She still came up with some funny tactic so that I can gain respect from my exco. HAHAH. =)

Next Guo Sheng.
My listening ear and secret keeper. I really wonder why also. But honestly, I somehow respect him. Hes always there for everybody, maybe especially for ___. HAHAHAH!! He will always help to do everything and anything. Even to buy Meepok. And that time, when Zhenling wanted to have dinner in school, he limped all the way from dg mrt, despite his injured foot. He can even volunteer to take my heavy textbk home and bring it the next day, when his foot was still injured.

And he compliments my artworks all the time. They always look good to him. Only that he thinks Pathlight students draw better than me. =X

He will be helping in April YCC too. My logs IC. And this one even better, he promised to help in Sep YCC too! Hes in it with me all the way. Buy 1 get 1 free.

There are many other small things they did that really impacted me greatly. I'm very touched and thankful to have them around me. Perhaps I would have already collapsed if not for them, and of course, SAMUEL. Hehhee. I feel so happy spending time with them. Its like the weight of all my assignments are totally relieved of after seeing them.

There are many more friends from Dec YCC I want to thank but due to time constraint, I'll just mention some names,

Tom- for encouraging me online, and for sourcing for a van.
Qi- for offering to buy me teh from kopitiam when I had cramps in class.
Hazmi- for being April YCC first aider and helping me find more first aiders.
Chaos- for buying orange juice ytd. HAA.
Eileen- for choosing me to join this committee.

I'm a lucky girl.

I miss wearing braces and looking like a young secondary school girl. Theres a certain kind of look braces can give that no other accessories can give. The dorky look? I dont know why but I certainly miss braces alot. HAHA Okay so random. Maybe I just hate retainers, they are so not exciting and hip. Makes me talk like a duck only.

Happy Valentines.
Thanks for making me feel like a princess even though I look and behave so much more like a grumpy old woman.

Sometimes I do doubt our relationship, especially in this period of time. But I still love you.

I will love you till the day when I tickle your feet, you cannot control and decide to kick me. HAHAHAHAH. =))))

1st Sem vs 2nd Sem

1st: I dont check my email for like 3 days and I dont care.
2nd: I dont check my mail for 3 hours and my whole body itches.

1st: Stick strictly to 4 day wk.
2nd: Supposedly 3 day wk but, ends up like 6 day wk.

1st: Sleeps dilligently at latest 12pm.
2nd: Struggles to keep awake until I really cannot take it.

1st: Complains all day about school
2nd: Barely have the time to complain

1st: Sabrina was with me
2nd: Shes leaving me. =(((((((

Now, which Sem is better? HAHA. Okay, such a dork that I am, I still love Sem 2 more. I'm starting to feel the joy of being high of fatigue. One moment I'm silent as gold, next moment (esp at night), I talk so much my throat becomes so dry.

But I think its because my mindset hasnt change on "results isnt everything, just do what you need to happily and life will be great."

I finally got the courage to say "My hobby is to do community service." in front of SMU students and feel good about it. HAHAHAHA. Yining and Yiwei just had to back me up. HAHA. Okay you wont know how funny it was.

I feel so bad towards Samuel though. My schedule is soo tight that I cannot leave out blocks of time for him, unlike last time. I will purposely leave out time so that he can ask me out. Now, he needs to slot himself into my free time. But its okay, I blocked time out this week so that he can surprise me for V day. =D Irony.

Okay, time for me to scoot back to work, happily.