Valerie
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De Parti.

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Lets slow down
and start going backwards.

And this concludes my last class in Year 2. It is exceptionally special as in this photo are my CAT mates and prof. And my CAT mates, they have been my friends since Year 1 Sem 1, which means, they have been my SMU friends for 2 years alr. =D I must say that despite some technical errors during presentation today that made everyone disappointed, I still like my group alot. I guess I'm just not the type that puts grades before friends. I wont start blaming anyone, wont kick up a fuss, throw a tantrum. I guess what matters most is the process and I enjoyed it.

I was just thinking that I'm kinda different from my peers. Why must grades determine who I am? Why cant character determine me? D: I'm very afraid of receiving grades every since I entered SMU. Everyone out there is smarter than me, their brains work faster than mine, their energy levels are way beyond mine. I guess I will find a place where I belong one day.

After Mar YCC, I've been thinking how nice would it be if I could be a special needs teacher. Perhaps majoring in Sociology will bring me abit closer to that ambition. I will find a job that suits me next time. I will not let grades deter my dreams.

I will drown myself with work and activities till you come back again.

Its always like that, 1st few days is a breeze cause I last contacted him not too long ago. And when the days go by, it gets a bit harder. Rah. I cant wait for Day 7 to come, it is when hes going to come back soon and the bell curve will finally be downward sloping.

Tml onwards will be tougher, knowing that he will be in the fields of Brunei. Emotional attachment so if he is going through shit there, my heart and mind will make me feel like shit too.

CAT meeting. Friends make meetings alot less hideous. =)

Day 3. Actually I think my hell period isnt ending yet cause MR report and NPD final assignment arent ready for submission. Damn.

I hope the weather isnt cranky in Brunei.

Day 2, Tues.
HIS 2.
(Time now, 1.50am)

I've managed to survive 830am to 12am long heavy duty hours in school today. I even wore specs to school to cause of my terribly sore eye. I was like some blind cock walking around school today cause my specs degree is alot lower than my contacts. Pui Seng and I walked past each other at the concourse, then both turned around to take a 2nd look. He couldnt recognise me and I couldnt see him properly. So I was like squinting my eyes and he went "whats with that look?" HAH. Sorry la, blind wad.

My friend still thought I wore specs on purpose to look studious for my presentation. HAH. So funny looking at people's reaction to my new look today.

My sore eye is all okay already. But it was horrible last night and this morn, swollen watery and all. No idea why also. Just a random suayness. Maybe some bug entered my eye or sth.

I think it wasnt too difficult to survive today. Presentation went smoothly and was rather awesome. I had a great dim sum dinner with Ning, Yiwei, Wuihou and Zhan Seng at Sunshine Plaza too. On top of that, Samuel missed called me a few times today. Heh. Makes me super happy when I see my phone ringing. It makes me feel like his presence is here. He could contact me, could reply me. So its just like hes in camp or sth. =)

Tomorrow will be another long day. But I will be fine. I'm looking forward to more fun stuff this whole week!

Day 1.
Samuel has safely touched down in Brunei at 5+am this morning. Think he still has a distance to camp. Bus, ferry, bus. Something like that.

I guess things will be alright, I assume he can still missed call me on days when hes not in the forest. Ya he will missed call me and each number of missed calls mean different things. Its like codes. HAHAHH!

Kunloong, yala we are very gay. But not as gross as your suggestion of the 9 ilys. =P

I shall name these 3 days the Hell in School (HIS). So today is HIS 1. Reached school at 830am for the 1st meeting. Then 10am 2nd meeting. 12pm lesson. 330pm presentation. 645pm break and mug with lonerds. 1030pm last meeting of the day. No breaks in between except the time spent with lonerds. Pathetic mannz. Great way to start a Monday. I hope HIS 1 ends soon. I want to sleep.

All about boysluts and manwhores.

This is damn funny, but to my friends who read this, it is not neccessarily your situation I'm referring to k. And to friends of these friends who seem to be in such situations, trust me, it might just be pure coincidence. My brain just triggered me to do this blog entry. HAHHA!

People always say girls are selfish, petty and unreasonable. Girls are hard to understand, moodswingish and difficult. Nonsense, I dare say guys have these flaws (too). They expect girls to be there for them when they need them. Throw all their sorrows and whines to them cause they know these girls will keep those secret, not tell anyone, so they can go about being brave and strong and have the whole heck care screw the world attitude in front of their peers. Fakers.

As a result, boys are tough to understand too. They act all chummy behind closed doors with you, and in front of everyone else, you are just another normal friend. Okay, Samuel was like that for quite a while. We were closet best friends. HAHAH. Back to topic, do they ever know that the girl will feel hurt when shes not acknowledged in front of everyone else? Its not about showing off, its just about knowing you are unafraid of letting others know you guys are tight. If you are close to her in secret, whats wrong with being close in public? Secret fling buddies? My ass. Just face it, buddies or not.

And as a result again, boys are moodswingish. They are close to you one moment, and they can dao you the next. They can flirt with you one day, and act like you are a boy next. They can talk so much to you in the week, and the next week, they dao you like crazy. See, boys are weird.

Okay thats all. I'm not saying I hate boys, throw rocks at them and all those shit la. I'm not a teenage angsty girl. I still love my boyfriend. But sometimes, just sometimes, not all the time, not most of the time, sometimes, the guy may be an absolute dickhead and just not worth the girl's attention and tender loving care. If you think the girl is worth it, all you have to do is make the move, and the girl is yours. If ego is whats keeping you back, burst it. Ego wont bring you love or riches. If fear is holding you back, ditch it. You are a guy, dont expect the girl to face the fear if you cant yourself. Your life is only 70yrs long, stop holding it back. Girls can live longer. HAHAHHAH!

Or maybe, if you have no romantic feelings towards her, just let her know. Girls are strong and they like to know answers. Girls have their own lives to lead too, yo.

This is Brunei tigger. The small one is one of my favouritest tigger from yesteryears, I bring him for all exams. =/ But yes, Brunei tigger is given to me as a surprise yesterday. I went out of my room for a while and when I came back, I realised something different in my tigger rack. You know, I have so many tiggers that I needed awhile to notice whats different. I knew there was something different but I just didnt know what. =)

Before we parted today, I asked Samuel if he had anything to tell me. He told me he loves me. And I was like "nothing else?" And he replied "Dont be lazy ah.." =/ Wahlao. But ya, I will try not to be lazy and nua away my days. The work will just keep piling up and I cannot collapse now.

=) Thank you Dear. I will tide through these miserably lonely yet still terribly stressed by school work days. I will try to pretend you are at Tekong or something. Have fun in camp! Come back soooon. 9 days better be over quickly.

I wasnt very in the mood to take photos today. So strange cause I was really excited to take photos before that. Outdoors, picnic, performance, it will trigger me to just keep snapping, but I didnt today. Must be the cramps. zzz. PMS!

But I think I was of great help at logs today. =) I swear I can be logs head soon. HAHAH. Maybe not for camp la. But for outings or something.

I learnt the joy of giving today. First we gave out alot alot alot of food. Then we helped the cleaners clean the place. And after which, we gave out all leftovers to the banglas nearby. They were soooooo happy to receive the goodies. Honestly, seeing them so happy, made me very happy. They took the apples and shared among themselves too. Heh.

I think the helpers at logs today were very awesome. No doubt they had nothing to do most of the time, but they still kept their spirits high, no black faces whatsoever. At the end of the day when I stole all the gummy sweets from the goodie bags and throw to them like some superstar throwing my autographed poster, the volunteers still 'childishly' grabbed for them. Ha.

=) All in all, I learnt new values today.

DIE ALR LA. Samuel is still in Singapore and I'm already suffering from a disease known as "why-must-you-go-to-Brunei". 9 days sound absolutely short and I should count my blessings cause if he had gone to infantry, he would be away for 3 weeks instead. I'm counting my blessings already but I cant help feeling a little woozy and disoriented also maaz.

9 days. Mon to another Tues.

Mon-Wed is hectic.
Thurs and Fri will be mugging days. Friends please ask me out to mug with you. =/
Sat and Sun. Weekends are tough. But I will go for Y Dance on Sat.
Mon and Tues. Full blast mugging I guess.

It will all be over soon. ZZZZ.

And I'm suffering from great reluctance to step into the weekend. Busy weekend packed to the brim and when its over, Samuel will be in Brunei already. ZZZZZZZ.

You know the feeling of seeing something and trying it on, then thinking maybe you dont really need it, so you put it back in the racks.

Then when you reach home, you cannot stop thinking about it. You come up with 101 ways of wearing it and matching it with your current clothes. You feel so much pity that you didnt buy it and take it home with you.

Damn, its been a while since I felt this way.

When deadlines and exams approach, it also means holidays are nearing too!

Things I will do when I regain my freedom:

• Blonde highlights! I'm so gonna do it, everyone has to try bleaching their hair once right?
• Give my 1000D more attention. I want a larger aperture and a wider angle.
• Give my birthday some thought. Do I really not want a party?
• Plan BKK trip with Aud and Jean and duno who who who yet!! =DDD
• Picnics!
• Alone time to drink coffee at Starbucks.
• Find a way to clear my cupboard.
• Meet ups with everybody I love.
• Go on proper dates with Samuel (but thats if he can too.)
• Start planning Y Proms seriously.
• Internship.

I just wish for more love more surprises more hugs.
Something to break me out of the routine, something to just blow my mind.

And Samuel's break just missed my break by a week. Sorrow.

I'm coming up with a virtual list of things I must do and must get this summer hols. I'm getting very excited. Too excited that it disengages my mind from what I ought to do now.

I can eat 1 million of this now. Samuel should be march out of his road march to get me this. =))

Kiangpin Sabrina!! I miss you guys so much yo. Can we come up with like a 101 list on where we can go together when the holidays come? I miss the whole planning what to wear before we meet the next day, then meeting up and camwhoring so much, talk and talk and talk, laugh at each other, then reach home and enjoy the uploaded photos on facebook. Then blogging about it and thinking about how fun the day was again and again.

I know you guys will read this. =)

Ahhh, the last time we met was just too long ago.

Sometimes our differences are just so stark that it just jabs me in my guts.

It is always very tough for us to reach a compromise cause I will disagree with his views and he will disagree with mine. And it is not just disagreeing but we think that each other's views are ridiculous, never coming across our minds. We will just keep quarrelling until we dont want to argue anymore. Then we tell each other we will be nicer to each other again.

But is it a solution to just be abit nicer? The main problem can never be solved, we are just way too opposite of each other. It is a inborn character thing that no one can change. Are we just avoiding it? Is avoidance just procrastination? Will we finally hit the last straw in the future? Trust me, our differences are as stark as they look. It can be complementing sometimes but other that these some times, it can get annoying.

I never understood how we can love each other, but we do. And I just get even more confused. Its like mind over heart or heart over mind.

Why must we be who we are?

Love you dear.

With a banana and hot milk tea for breakfast,
a very nice stranger who sheltered me to school,
and a dinner date,

I should be happy today.

The nice stranger is really nice actually. He sheltered me such that I was totally dry and he was half drenched. He kept insisting that he was going to gym so he will change later so it was okay. And he was saying I'm wearing shoes so I have to be careful, hes wearing slippers so it doesnt matter. Really, it feels good to know that such a nice stranger schoolmate exists. =)

I will be happy today.

Today is by far the worst day since a very long time.

Today is the day I feel so much pain, so much disappointment, so much hurt. Everything was a flop. It was horrid at first and I thought I could depend on someone. But it made it all worse. Now I feel like crap. My heart aches like crazy when I think of my supposedly A grade assignment turn D or sth. My heart aches like crazy knowing that the person I thought I could seek comfort from thinks I'm weak.

I'm weak, thats why I need you.

I've honestly put in way alot of effort in this piece of assignment. Being retarded in numbers and finances, I started doing it early, editing it over and over again. Get pissed with myself for being retarded then pick myself up and try it all over again. Only to end up not handing up this page of finances and scored myself a failed grade. Imagine the amount of disappointment and the prof still kindly told me I could have done quite well as the idea was good. I wanted to just break down there and then but I sucked it back in and showed a positive sunshine look to everyone. Victorious like my name suggests. Still mustered all courage to go through the class smiling, go through meeting like my usual bubbly self. Making people feel motivated to press on for our project.

Dont ask me anymore. I dont wish to talk about it. I'm trying to let it pass.

We all need some random beautifuls in our lives. =) Buddy, thanks for taking me for the hunt for the D'ND venue.

Blonde highlights! Should I? You think so?

Happy birthday Andrew!

A brother for a long time. Someone who went through thick and thin with me when I was in secondary school. Andrew was like my xiong di. With the help of Hongkit, we sailed through the love storms of Secondary school together. They were the ones who were the most excited when I got attached. So no doubts at all, he was one of those who helped shape me to who I am now. Even though he went missing for a very long time, he pops up once in a while. So I guess we are still awesome friends now. =) Birthday parties do gather people again.

After 3 parties and a hunt for a D'ND venue this weekend, parties aint that horrible afterall.

No, I still dont like playing host and scrambling around to entertain my guests. I think I will like planning for the party. Finding a damn chio venue, sourcing for outstanding food, beautiful deco.. But during the party itself, I will be damn sian la. Okay forget it.

3 parties 3 very different venues.

Tricia's was at SCREME in SMU. Yishan's was at a ballroom look-alike at Seletar Country Club. Andrew's was at Aloha Changi, which is very uluu, and I believe it has great potential to be damn pretty.

Yishan's one was da bomb manz. The place was so pretty, the food was superb. Beef slices and oatmeal prawns yo. Still got nice logan jelly dessert, waiters and waitresses to clear your dishes, designated tables, 2 buffet tables, a stage, photographers and ya the list can go on and on about nice upz stuff. I was sooooooooo veryyyyyy superduper reluctant to leave. You know I'm a sucker for pretty places. I can take photos of everything there. Air con was awesome too. I swear I wanted to just stay there and pangseh Andrew and the rest.

But as a loyal friend, I headed to Andrew's. Thanks Yiliang, Weiwen and Tiying from taking me out to the main road to get a cab. Thank goodness I cabbed there. The place is damnnn uluu like super near Old Changi Hospital. Freaky.

Its like a bungalow on its own, has its own field, own slope, own porch, and its own beautiful view of the ocean. You can see yachts floating around too. Super nice. I could just lay in the grass if it wasnt so wet. The stars and moon were just shining above us and the air was cooling and fresh. If I drove and I have a car, perhaps I will just drive there all the time. The bungalow itself was huge. Mega huge rooms, numerous toilets. And a lot of insects. Alot of insects means not alot of lizards so its a good thing la. Except for some bloody cock fly dropped on my head.

I think the bungalow has great potential you knowz. Like I can imagine it with yellow and white balloons. Nice xmas lights twined around the balcony railings. Vintage looking teacups, everyone wearing 60s outfits. Colourful and happy. Heh. Then we will all sit on checkered picnic mats and watch the horizon. =)) SO lomantic!

Oh well. Snap back to reality. School tomorrow. Week 12. But it feels like week 2 to me.

Meeting on a Sunday.
Blah blah blah.
Its okay, Samuel's booking out tomorrow.
Blahhhhh.
I foresee a hell lot of meetings next week
to chiong for week 13.
Good luck.

The below chunk of words do not arrow any one personally. It is a general observation. I have to say this cause I think some of you who are reading this are going through this. =X Dont hate me.

I dont understand why it is so difficult for a girl to confess to a guy and ask whats going on between them. I have tonnes of friends in this kind of situation and they are just making themselves stuck, emo, helpless, confused, frantically searching for his hints for perhaps nothing. If you ask him what are things leading to now, he answers, you either get a positive ans or a negative one. If its negative, then you know where you stand and you guys can be friends. If you get a confused answer from him that he doesnt know too, ask him to be a man and deal with it. If its a positive answer, congradulations, you guys can finally share some love and bond in a relationship.

Wouldnt it be easier? Why cant girls to the same things as guys? We always talk about equality but in this case, why insist that the guy initiates? Why not just ask and deal with it bravely? Solves all problems.

Why busk in (possibly self created) happiness in status quo? If its real happiness, make it become love. If its fake happiness, dont let the guy continue toying with your emotions. Guys are not to be so trusted. He might be flirting with some other girl, he doesnt have to tell you that. Some guys just know how to lead you on blindly like a fool.

I just dont understand lehzzz. Really dont understand. Zzzzzzz.

I give myself 11 claps. Hi, you guys owe me 10000000000 claps for going.

I guess it wasnt Samuel who was commissioning so it didnt have any other feelings except the sense of reluctance and dismay. 38 weeks of training to become an officer? Oh man, its been only how many weeks?

Being such an awesome friend, I put down all dignity and pride and my poor boyfriend had to deal with me not look at the parade 1st time at his commissioning. So yes, I went for Guang's parade. HAHAHAH!! I even helped him take soooo many photos somemore. I ended up late for Tricia's birthday too! Okay all those who thought I went out with my boyfriend, sorry you've been punk'd. I didnt even get to see my boyfriend. =(( He was looking at the parade at the balcony while entertaining generals.

I wanted to see Samuel in No 1! Oh but I guess its better that I didnt see, so the handsomest image of him in No 1 is still in my imagination and when I go for his commissioning (if it happens), I will still be super excited. =)

Nvm, as long as you all shuang can alr lorz. HAHAHHAH!

I guess Samuel wasnt in the mood to take photos too. HAHAH. But anyhows, its not very often that we get a full body photo and its not very often that people take photos for us. =)

Oh and another funny thing that I cannot stop talking about is this super AA girl. The guys left, leaving a few behind and she did this to her date:

"Ohhhh they left without you...*pouts*"
"Nvm, I... (I couldnt hear what she said)"
*Plants kiss on guy's cheek* (the type that has the MUACKS sound)

All right in front of Samuel and I. In the middle of Samuel and the guy's conversation.

I wanted to burst out laughing like seriously. Like my crazy helluva laughter. But for the sake of being glamorous and polite, I renned.

I enjoy imitating her with Samuel now. Its so funny I can do it a million times over and over again. Some girls just need to get a grip of themselves.

NONONONONO!
I will not settle for that.
NONONONONONONO!
Its not right this way.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

ARGH.

My ear is super duper itchy. BUAY TA HAN TTM. FML WLE KNS. And what nots that sound angry.

I can tolerate pain but I cannot tolerate discomfort. Discomfort like pukish feeling, black out-ish, are horrible to me. I will feel very nervous and anxious about it. But if its pain, I can just suck it in. If I enjoy taking injections, I think pain is really not an issue.

Okay back to my ear. YA ITS SO ITCHY. And fingers are dirty so I can scratch my ear with my fingers. Wth. Then scratch with my toes ah. HAHHAA. Scratch with what?? I'm spamming alcohol swipes alr. But I need to use them sparingly so that I will have enough for tomorrow! ZZZ. ITCHY TTM.

But I'm glad the prunes are helping my indigestion. I love prunes. =)

I love my boyfriend because when everyone is saying "See la! Why go and pierce your ear!" or "What if I slap your ear?" or "wah your ear really glowing!", my boyfriend didnt even blame me for piercing my ear. He still cares and asks if I'm okay. He still promised to pray that my ear will be okay when I wake up tomorrow.

HEHEH. =)

Moments like this, I really wish my boyfriend was here.

I'm sitting alone at Far East waiting for the piercer to come and relieve me of my sorrow. My ear has strangely became swollen. I did clean my piercing ytd but somehow or another, the piercing didnt take it well. So it started swelling and now my ear is red and big. (A little bit of exaggeration but thats how I feel!)

I dont know what is he going to say later. I know its common for cartilage piercing to tio infection but why must it be mine? I hope my infection is like the mild common sort, apply abit of lotion, take good care and it will heal in a hurry. Pray for me k. I'm kinda worried and back to being hum ji.

Okay, actually I'm quite brave to head down here alone right?

I dont want a swollen ear. I dont want the piercing to close. I want my ear to go back to what it was 2 days ago. SAVE ME.

I was (actually am) talking to Sabrina and Kiangpin and I realised..

I cannot tolerate awkward silences. I need to icebreak. Imagine the whole dinner table, everyone silent, talking to their dates only. Omg, I think I will go crazy. "Yo yo yo, can we all talk to each other??"

Maybe we can play whacko, or name bingo, or cat and mouse, or perhaps mm ji ji?

And I know, I think ALOT. HAHAH. Please pardon me.

Sometimes we just have to do some things stupid, then regret it later.

I woke up today and I decided that "Hey, I should wash my stud more thoroughly". So I happily used saline and washed and shifted my stud. Now, it hurts like fuck. Seriously. Its more sore than it was when I just pierced it. God please help me. I dont want anything to happen to my earhole. I dont want it to get infected. Let it stop hurting by tomorrow. D:

I think my body is screwed. Ive been having weird fainting sensations recently. Its the period when I feel possessed again. I get nervous for no reason, feel black out-ish for no reason. Experience reluctance and loneliness randomly. Its horrible and I hate it. And now the ear just have to join in the terror.

Having seen Samuel for 3 days in a row, I wouldnt say I'm alot happier. I'm just dreading his departure even more. I will be seeing him on Thurs but still, the fact that he wont be out this weekend kills all joy. The fact that we will still have to go through the seperation again and again doesnt disappear.

I'm not happy today, period. =(((
People, give me some joy.

OMG EVERYONE GO YOUTUBE LADY GAGA'S TELEPHONE.
MTV IS OUT.
AND ITS WAYYYY WICKED.
GOODNESS.
NEVER KNEW AN MTV COULD BE THIS CAPTIVATING.

Long bookout, means a very happy me. When Samuel left today, I was feeling sad and reluctant again. But I realised, ehhhhh, hes only booking in again on Tues! YEAHH! Then I think about it, ehhhh I got school for the whole of Monday. DDD: What now?

But then again, I will be meeting him on Thurs for Social Night (DANG DANG DANG! Loud scary music.) But then horrr, he wont be booking out next weekend and will only book out on Monday and book in on the same day. And yes, I have school for the whole day on Mondays. D: I swear next sem, I'm not going to bid for classes on Mondays and Fridays.

Edited: Yeah, we actually met up today again. =) I shall not be greedy anymore. I think hes going to fetch me to school tomorrow too. YIPEE.

Is there a reason for you to like someone? Is it possible to rationalise what you feel into words and facts? He always gets very tongue tied when I ask him "Why". He will tell me the same reason which I will always reject. HAH. Its too general and I will continue asking him "Why" again and again until he goes crazy. (Head buried in his palms, shaking his head saying "Why must you ask me so many questions??" HAHAHH!)

But okay, I will just continue to think I'm too awesome to be described in words. I think I'm awesome as a person. But as a girl, I think I'm not that great. Ya. OH WELL! I'm from a niche market. Ning, niche market people are still valuable. =)))))

On a very serious note, I think I should see a doctor to treat my claustrophobia.

Due to the horrible lighting, it has to go black and white.

And they say that a hero will save us..

Su Wei Ting is really our hero. HAHHAHA!

Everytime when we face sth that we cannot solve despite how hard we try, we will run to Eileen. =) Its good to know that someone is actually there to help us and guide us into solving questions in our head. She will come up with approaches on how we can do things and also provide us with the why of it. Its just soo therapeutic talking to her. I feel smarter and more equipped, more assured and more ready to overcome obstacles. Its like energising us, letting us know that we are there for a reason and that we can really make a difference. I'm all ready to turn things around, light up the dark, and have an open heart again.

Today when I heard the song "Hot and Cold" at Far East, my heart totally skipped a beat. Flashes of memories were like gushing into my head. Hazmi and I invented some moves for this song sometime back and we will always use it when we hear the song. Its like on the first day of camp when the song was played, I was whining that Hazmi wasnt there to do the 'dance' with me. Boo boo. Then during party night, the song was played again. I was on the ground and once I heard it, I went through the crowd shouting "Wheres Hazmi?!?!" And at the same time, Hazmi was on the table, shouting "Where's Val??" And I see people looking for me. HAHHA. I ji tao run to the table to do the moves to the song with Hazmi.

Its very heartwarming to know that your existence matters to someone else. I'm glad to have met alot of such friends, thanks to my involvement at YMCA. People really go all out to care for each other. Its like Hazmi is just like a little brother to me. I see him grow and I feel so happy for him. Guosheng is like a brother to me too. I can be harsh to him at times, not because I want to put him down, but because I want him to learn. And Ning. Shes really like my other half. We talk all the time. We understand each other and when we dont understand, we will just trash things out, right in the face of each other. Theres no bitching behind each others' backs cause we bitch right back at each other. We clash so much that we collude at the end. Its amazing how we support each other. I think if someone talks bad about me at camp, they will step all the way out to support me, cause we dont doubt the intentions of each other. I may seem very stern, but they will know my intentions.

The feeling is just wayyyy awesome. =)))

Samuel is back!!! LOVE!

Super love this photo. Thank you photographer!

I found this photo and I burst out laughing. HAHAHHAH! My smile in this photo is super mian qiang. Total reluctance and totally drained of energy to give my million dollar smile. Look at Sophie her head is like hung down alr and Ning, dont need to say, she just happily lie on my yummy thigh to sleep. I'm the champion, I managed to smile with my last bit of energy.

=)