Valerie
Zhss, NYJC, SMU
sammificated
De Parti.

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Lets slow down
and start going backwards.

"and I never met a girl like you before.." Edwin Collins.
Seriously, only class 95 will play such groovy songs.

So I've been stuck to my laptop for the whole of today. Doing calculus, emptying my mailbox, doing powerpoint slides and writing out my script for presentation.

I cant wait for this week to end. Recess weeeeeeek. GIVE ME MY RECESSSSS! But saying that, I'm sure I will enjoy this week as well. Making plans gives me a greater purpose for waking up everyday.

At least when half of my day is controlled at school, the other half is for me to own.

Cheers to the half days that are MINE!

Sorry Dear. HAHAHAH. I need to post this. Samuel says: "Candy Floss bigger than your head!" =)

Headed down to Yiling's house to paint today. =) Now that I've painted another pair, I feel like moving on to paint another pair! Oh and dont compare the shoes above, Yiling's ones are damn nice. But I love my pair just as much. Heh.

Everytime I look at you,
Baby I see something new.
It takes me higher than before,
it makes me want you more.

Class 95 just knows how to bring back memories.
Bon Jovi "All about loving you"- one of my favourite love songs with its goosebump-evoking MTV.

Nothing more therapeutic than sappy love songs.

Saturday was a huge bundle of fun. As what the bday girl said or tried to say, "contented" was the word to describe the day. (woah it rhymes!)

Started out at K Box. Had a great time letting loose of our voices. Its like no one was hogging on the microphones but everyone was singing alot too. Edward's version of "Fever" by Buble is ultimate. Seriously, when he sang this song, it blew us away. HAHHAA. The song was made for him. Oh and Audrey is really good at singing CHINESE songs.

After dinner and we went for a stroll. =/ Walked to Fullerton. The walk there was fufilling. We walked through a damn narcissistic underpass, filled with mirrors which is really good for cam whoring. =D Walked by the Singapore River. Walked past the F1 track.

Starbucked and then headed off for supper. Its comical how we walked all the way there just to have Edward, Aud and I eat 1 chicken wing each. Hahaha.

The day ended pretty late with me reaching home at 1am. But indeed a day well spent with the same old bunch.

One whole week gone just like that!

And I'm sure the weekend will be gone in a jiffy.

I hope my group wont be so cruel to take my monday away to do our project. =/

No Samuel at all this week. Terrrrrible.

Its the weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekend.

Having lack of rest in my sleep, I guess I will give Y reading a miss tml. Gosh, whats happening to me. I'm going to skip something I love alot just for the sake of my sleep and assignments. Argh, Uni life's getting the better of me. I just want to be away from crowds.

But still, I will enjoy my weekend and not deprive myself of the real meaning of weekends. I will have fun and have a good share of rest. I will do my homework in the day, Samuel will come over to watch movie with me (at home, hahahah). A portion of my Sunday will be spent happily with Audrey again. I'm going to pamper myself.

Now all that can relief my stress is sleep, Samuel, shopping. SSS. HAHAHA. Meeting one or two friends will help too. Like easy and slow activities. Its like I cant smile alr, let alone laugh in a group. So let me learn how to smile first.

Give me some time, my determined and very self motivating personality will be back. I will be able to score like in JC. Pia like in JC. Enjoy studying like in JC. Lock myself in the room to study like in JC. I CAN DO IT!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Thats my state of mind now. Push push push push. Progress over my limits. Stetch my boundaries. Pull till I almost-snap. But how do I know when will I snap? Since no one has broken down, its not my turn. I will go on. Charge on bravely, charge on positively, charge on strong.

Being extremely tired, I rushed home for a nap today but guess what, the damn construction downstairs started their 'bang bang banging'. Great, good things come together eh? I forced slept about half hour and I couldnt take it. It made me even more tired.

My mind is clogged up with the list of must-dos for school. So I grabbed myself out of my bed and started doing my calculus homework. Thank god my Math is not bad. HAHHA. I realised compared to many, I'm goooooooood.

Jet Li wants to come to Singapore to raise funds and do voluntary work. Come on, hire me.

Will tomorrow be as hopeful as today?

I will believe that tomorrow will always be better. Yesterday might have been tough but there's always the next day to look forward to. But you see, now I'm stuck. Yesterday wasnt very smooth sailing, so Dear made sure I felt loved today. So what about tomorrow? I dont think I can be as happy as I was today. Now what?

Expectations tend to tear people down. Aim high and you will reach high, but how often in life can we reach high enough for us to be satisfied? Perhaps never. At least for myself, I know I will never be satisfied. I'm the sort of person who buys a dress but now wants a pair of matching shoes. I've got my generous share of As for A levels but I got a god-damn B for Lit. Seriously, I'm still harping on alot of missed expectations that I had in the past.

Now, why cant I take life slowly. Be at my own pace, slow and peaceful and very happy. Why cant I live with my husband in a little cottage at the countryside with my family and a few good friends as my neighbours? No buildings and cars and technology around. Just rich green pasture and pastel coloured flowers.

No high expectations, just good and simple reality.

Reality doesnt exist in the mind now. But if my mind isnt able to think real, how can my actions work in reality? Okay side track.

All these thoughts were pushed when the speaker said about her life in Torento, when by 4pm on Fridays, everyone will be home with their families. Its unlike the life in Singapore when every minute of yours is stretched. Even though its stretched, your time has shortened.

Gosh, this got to stop. Dear's on the phone, the one person who can make me feel that my time is stagnant just for me.

Dont you just miss studying? NO! HELL NO!
But having no choice, Aud and I spent our Saturday studying at the quiet corner of town. I seriously hate financial accounting assignments. Like what I told her, doing such homework really sucks out all the braincells in me. Makes me feel soul-less, drive-less, mood-less. Okay but after shopping at Tanglin Flea, I felt more recharged. Bought a $5 Blazer. Oh please stop me from buying anymore jackets.

Even though Aud and I got trapped due to the rain, waited damn long for a bus, failed to flag for a cab, nearly for splashed by dirty road water, took a bus all the way to Red Hill, reached home super late, I think it was quite fun. Hahahaha. So stupid, so loserish but so entertaining.

All in all, I would love my mugging Saturdays to be just as fun. =)

Silently I know I'm quite a bitch. And when I'm tired, I'm ten times that bitch I naturally am.

So seriously, I'm in no mood and have no energy to do anything else but whats written in my schedule. So if to quarrel with you is not in my schedule, I really dont want to do so. It will just end up in a big mess.

Now the problem comes back to us.

I really dont want to fight it but I have to voice out. Perhaps if I receive more love, I will not be able to even see the problem.

Now maybe the problem lies with me.

I'm blinded by work and mute by fatigue.

Note to all: A blog is never a private space.

But that doesnt matter, cause technology has advanced so much that human hearts have been blinded.

BURN BURN BURNNNNNNNNNN!

I'm Burnt. Its like I feel like a string burning on both ends, and when I'm about to disappear into ashes, the flames die off and its the weekend. My long awaited weekend!! All hail weekends!! But as I think of diving into total relaxation and recuperate from my hectic schedule, I get a slap on my face. Killer assignments that will take my donkey years to complete and all I have is the weekend.

Its really not enough.

This week really got me stretched out of my slack mood and made me think about the big things I need to achieve in my last 4 years at school. Lets recap on what I did...

Monday: Did my homework at Orchid Ctry Club while my family played their sports. I joined in for Bowling though.
Tues: School and Uni Y Meeting till late.
Wed: School, Watched Wall-E with Samuel, studied and VSMP course at YMCA till late.
Thurs: School, studied at YMCA and Y Reading meeting plus supper till late.
Fri: School, window shopped with Sabrina and guess what, TEST at 7pm.

See I'm so busy but I go home everyday feeling satisfied. Happy that I spent the day well, happy that I made use of my time, happy that the day has ended.

My weekend is just as packed too. =) Cant wait to see Audrey tml! We're going to start studying all over again.