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Lets slow down
and start going backwards.

"Sleep well blackie, in a far off land, I will never see."

A tribute to my goldfish.
You will always be remembered.

THANK YOU KHAR LOO! for thinking so hard and coming up with ideas for me for my PI when I was so irritated and stressed up on Friday.
THANK YOU TIMOTHY! for helping me look for information while watching soccer.

I'm grateful for the help I get. =)

Hello blog, and fellow readers, I am here to type another entry. =/

Econs test was sickening. Ha. I'll fail it for sure. I'm prepared to fail. There's chinese test next week! DAMN. 4e2rians should know how much I hate chinese test and how much I suck at it. Ha. Still remember how Cai Lao Shi will chase me and a few others to chinese remedial. =P

Schooling with my classmates is really enjoyable. I'm actually excited to see them again on Tuesday. =D Oh yes!! Chinese lesson was HILARIOUS. Khar Loo should know how lame we were. It was damn funny. The sh*t joke and the dua he long. HA. Nevermind if you dont understand, even if I explain it, you wont find it funny. You have to be there to laugh it all out.

Tiying, Khar Loo and I got hurled vulgarities at after school. It turned out funny though. Everything seems funny to us. The Malay girls were just too paranoid. They thought that we were laughing at them when we were laughing at Tiying's dancing. Oh well. It's weird when they said we were proud 'cause we are JC students. Since they said that, they must be thinking that JC is better. It's just their own thinking that made themselves angry.

I went back to Zhonghua after that. Hek and Zhi Kai asid we couldnt get back our certs yet but we actually could. So I went back, waited for muel to arrive. 4e6 people were there and Timothy. LONG time since I last saw Timothy. =P It was nice seeing familiar people again.

We went to J8 next. Samuel and I went for dinner at Yoshinoya. Yum. =) To Timothy: Yoshinoya is better than pastamania.

I went for my dental appt today, alone. But its ok, I met Samuel after that. =) I went to Yishun to look for him. After sometime, he accompanied me all the way to Bishan. So sweet right? Yes.

I love Samuel. 9 more days to our 21st mthsary! =D 3 more mths to another year. Heh.

I am here!! Been kinda busy with schoolwork. Oh no. Khar Loo called and said that we must go back for Pe because my form teacher went. OH.

In case you dont know what I'm talking about, I ponned Pe with my friends. We had the lesson before Pe off as our lit teacher didnt come and so we happily went home. =D I just hope the rest didnt ps us. =/

I passed my human geog test! 6/12. Heh. I passed my math test! 3.5/5. =) Okay, I doubt I can pass my physical geog test though. Oh yes. Econs test tml. I'll fail that for sure. We have not been taught how to write an econs essay. Blah.

These few days in school quite fun. Today is exceptionally fun. I got letters and a box of Pocky from my Angel. THANK YOU! So sweet of you. =D

It was hilarious at the library today. "Why is the letter saying Hi to me??" HAHAHA. Nvm if you dont understand. And Khar Loo and her chocolate. And Syimah and the "pocky". HAHA.

We went to Macs again today. Talked and laughed and gossiped. Joanne, Qiaodie, Jean, Baoqi, Tiying, Jeannette, Khar Loo and I. The funniest part was when Tiying, Khar Loo and I were sitting really close together to hear the gossips, then the ceiling above us was leaking. We were so engrossed in the secrets and a giant drop of water fell from the ceiling. Our 1st reaction: WAHHH!!! We cried out together, at the same time. Damn funny. Ha. I had a really good time with all of them.

After that, we went back for math and we occupied the first row. We are really guai kids. =D There will be a maths retest next tues. Should I go? Kinda lazy, actually.

Desiree was on MC today. So happy. =D Heh. As Khar Loo, Tiying and I were leaving the school SOOO happily, Ms Sharma saw us. She was shocked at how happy we were. HA! Khar Loo even aimed to reach home by 4pm. We were so excited. =/

Okay, I ponned Pe. I wonder if anything will happen. I hope not. They better dont ps us. Or else...........

I shed those tears,
alone in the dark.

But, I guess everything will be alright. After being in different schools, I feel that this relationship seems very fragil. One wrong thing, and it is all history. Insecurity. But, I think we are perfectly fine again. Thanks to my forgiving nature and his tolerance. Ha. I still love Samuel. =)

I want 4e2 outing again!! =) I cant wait to catch up with all of them. I cant wait to go crazy with them. I just cant wait to see all of them again. =D Audrey! I want to see you too. Ha.

YiChing, I still miss you! I updated!! Hope you had a nice time reading this entry. =P
YiLing! You are missed by Jean and I. Dont worry.

Till we meet again.
What a meaningful excursion today. Fun, yet with moments of sadness. On the bus home, we had a sharing of love stories. Ha. From part-time steadies, to the bridge with flowers and love poems, to my very own story.

Is there a way to find out if one's relationship will last? After hearing so many love stories and how some ended, I am starting to think how long will mine last. Is there enough trust between us? We dont really have much time for each other and so trust is the most important factor. Will this trust die off one day? Will I feel sick of everything soon? Will he?

How will I feel if we end up seperated someday? Will I cry and forget the next day? Or will I take twice the amount of time to recover? Will I recover? How will he feel? Will he care about how I feel at the moment of time?

Some answers will be left unknown till the day arrives. I just hope if we break one fine day, we will still be super good friends. Ha. I'm planning for the future already.

Dont worry, we are fine. I had sooo much fun with him today. I used his laptop to do my PI. I did geography as well. Productive. =) Oh yes, Samuel is having wushu now again. =D He is so near me.

Okay, I shall be optimistic and say, come what may.

It is nice to have speed chatting with TiYing, Khar Loo and Jeannette. =D

Here I am. Almsot one week since I've last blogged. I'm sad that Yiching is leaving again. I'm still figuring out how to ask permission from my Mum. YiChing's flight is late at night so I dont know if my Mum will allow. I want to see Yi Ching!!! =(

This week was quite cool. I guess we are very comfortable with each other already. Joanne! Jeannette! Dalmation! Voodoo(HAHAHA. the thought of the name makes me laugh)! Ha. Mac was FUN! Jokes and Jokes and Jokes. Khar Loo's happy joke was soooo qianda.

I ran 2.4km in 14.59min. I NEED TO IMPROVE. DAMN. I've been running quite frequently but still, I actually deproved from my Sec4 timing. Whats the world coming to? =P I ran 8 rounds of the cca block thing that day as well. I'm so proud that my muscle didnt really ache after that.

BUT. I have a weird joint at my hip. Difficult to explain. Voodoo and dalmation will know. I let them touch it. =D HA. They were amazed by it.

I met up with Ulric yesterday. He was on the way to J8 and so was I so decided to meet him. KFC! =) Long since I ate at kfc. Caught up with stuff that is going on in Zhonghua. Bloodshed, is the word to describe. Ha. Heard there were many fights and blood was involved. Without my batch of students, Zhonghua will collapse. =P Heh.

I've not seen Samuel for one week already. He's having wushu now though, so I can view him from my room. =D I MISS SAMUEL.

This weekend is packed with numerous geog tutorials, PI and econs summary. Econs summary SUCKs. I'll do that last, when I feel like it. I doubt I'll do anything tomorrow though. I'll be on an excursion to the cemetry. Heh. I wonder if it will be fun. Mmmmm..

Thats all.
YI CHING, I LOVE YOU! =)

Am I happy with my life now?

I dont feel as happy as I was in Zhonghua. (Slap me, I'm missing life in Zh again.)
Let me slip into melancholy again. Just let me be.

2e3 and 4E2. Where I can just talk all the nonsense I want to anyone. Where I made a lot of my best friends. Where everyone will realise if I wasnt there. Where I am noticed and loved for who I am. I miss Yunting, Siewting, Belinda, Yip, Aud, Nicole, Carena, Hazel, Seehwee, Nura, Yiching, Hong Kit, Andrew, Mitchell, Alex, Han Shen, Shaun, Yongjun, Jerald, actually, this list will never end. =D

Art club. Where I can slack and rot happily with everyone else. Where everyone will not ps anyone. One slack, all slack. I miss Yi Xin, Canthini, Kass, Regi, Sasha, Moni, Yiling, Yu Feng... I still remember us going to Art Club late together. Oh yes, and how happy we were when Yi Xin bought potato chips for us to share. =D

I miss all my other Zh friends. Ulric, who still msges me now. =) and Timothy, who always msges me. I miss saying hi to timo and expecting him to say hi, if not I'll call him "dao~". Heh.

I miss eng lessons with Melville. How Hong Kit, Yunting and I will irritate Ms ten with our noises. I miss how Ms Ten will come up with some nonsense to wake the class up: Melville wave. Ha. And Hong kit telling me his many many secrets. There was once Yunting and I were caught talking, then I was made to stand up. Yunting insisted that she stand with me. =D

I miss staying back after school. Jean and Yiling. How we will exchange lil gossips with each other and how we will catch up with each other's life. Then we'll make Jean take 53 home so she can walk with us to the bus stop. =D

I miss tuition group. You can never imagine how much I miss this stage of my life.

I miss having Samuel to wait for me after school almost everyday. And on the way home, he'll buy me bread from the bakery at serangoon central. He'll insist on carrying my books while I just continue blabbering to him about my day.

Actually, there is much more things I miss about my sec sch life.

I wonder, am I the only one missing those days? Why is everyone so ready to take on the next phrase of life? Oh well. I just have to move on.

Must be because Samuel's going to start school tomorrow, thats why I am thinking of the sweet past again. Siewting's going to start school tomorrow also. GOOD LUCK to all that start school tomorrow. I hope it'll be fun for you.

I hope to have fun at school tomorrow as well. But no worries, my classmates are nice. =D

No school tomorrow! =D REST, REST and more REST. It was super slack at school today. Ms Sharma wasnt here for lesson so our 1st lessons was cancelled. There was a 2 hour break after this free period. So altogether we had 3 hours to slack away. Then after Geography tutorial, we had another 1.5hr break. Slackish.

Went out with Jean after everything. We just went walking around Far East. Bao Qi was there with her friends as well. Yet again, I am very tempted to buy so many new stuff. ARGH. I want proper shopping soon. It is tiring to shop after a whole day at school. It was nice chatting with Jean about our sweet memories. HA. The good old tuition days!!!! AH! I MISS TUITION DAYS SO MUCH. Those were the best days ever, serious.

I dont really have much to say anymore. Oh yes!!!

I have an aim in NY now..... To agitate the librarian. =) Wish me good luck. Give me all your support. I want to see that spastic look on her face. HA. Joanne will support me on this. =D

Off to use the phone. =D My hobby.

I've got nothing to blog about but I've got nothing to do now. Actually, not nothing to do, just lazy to do everything. Okay, just dont bother.

Oh yes. Jean made me late today. HA. I shall buy her an alarm clock for her birthday next time. =P My 1st time ever being late for school actually. But its alright, no punishment, just had to flash my ugly ezlink card to man.

Its the same stuff in school everyday. Tutorials, lectures, breaks.

I ran 8 rounds again! Be proud of me. Heh. Okay, I did walk abit but I still completed the rounds. Shall try not to walk the next time. TRY.

Went to look for Mr Mao with Dorathy just now. I guess my PI was BAD. Ha. And it was nice having company home. =D

Nothing much to expect from school tomorrow. Just a lot a lot a lot of breaks. I'm so glad tomorrow is the last schooling day of the week. I need loads of time to study for geography tests next week, especially physical geog. I really suck at physical geog. DAMN.

Sometimes, you just feel like keeping everything to yourself.
Letting myself slip away and drown in loneliness.
melancholy.

Samuel is having orientation tomorrow! And school will soon start for him.........

I wonder if I should be happy or not. Okay, I should be happy for him. Soon, we can start studying together again! =D I hope. I cant stop nagging at him today. Its like his FIRST day of school tomorrow. Woah.... I can recall the feeling of loneliness and lost on all my first days of schools. Okay, my 1st day at Nyjc was alright, had Yip and Jean with me all day. Heh. I am thankful.

I woke up extra early today. (Its very rare of me to wake up so early on a Sunday.) Met the Judo people at Bedok at 8.30am. We proceeded to the stadium to watch the competition. Halfway through, Colleen and I got thristy so we went across the road to buy drinks. She brought $1.10 and I brought $1.80 there. She used her money to buy a bottle of lemon tea, I bought 2 packets of Oreos and a can of green tea.

After that, she was left with 10cents, I was left with 60cents. THEN! The headlines of The Newpaper caught our attention. 1st thing in our minds, "I must get it!" But it costs 80cents, we only had 70cents in total. SOOOOO... we decided to ask a passerby to spare us 10cents. It was hilarious. We couldnt bring ourselves to ask for 10cents from a stranger. But we finally did. And we got the newspaper! =D Heh. The article that we were so keen on reading was on Chinatown prostitutes dressing in various uniforms during their act.

I met Samuel shortly after that. We went to read at the library again. =D Yes, amk library. We read many interesting books. "Magic Tricks", "Easter Crafts", "Why Do Our Feet Sleep" and some NBA thing. We left for home at about 5+.

I enjoyed myself a lot, even though I didnt do anything very exciting today. Its the company that counts. =)

Happy 20th mthsary + 1 day. =D

I had been such an idiot last night. I wonder what got into me. The mood swing curse, I suppose. I'm sorry for over reacting. I tend to do such nonsense once in a while. Sorry. Thank you for being patient with me.

I went to Zhonghua sports day today. =D No regrets going. There were a few of us there. A nice bunch of people. I sacrificed my chance to start learning about war poems for this. Heh. But how can I not go when there were people like YI CHING there. =D I saw her today!!!!!! Unbelieveable? Believe it. =)

I met Samuel today too. Okay, he went as well. =D

School was fine today. Econs day. Econs tutorial and lecture. SO much of one subject is sick, especially when the lecturer is the same sucky one. Heh. I got so frustrated at the way she was teaching that I exclaimed "whats the meaning of XXX?" loudly. She heard me and answered it. But unfortunately I forgot what was the word I asked and what was the answer she gave. Heh. Oh yes. Jean let me read a love message during Econs today. Jean is still very in love with me. HAHA. OH YA! Ms Tay (su su) knows that Jean treats her as her favourite already. =D Yeah. Come on Jean, I know you want to kill me. =P

Project work is annoying. HOW TO DO? Why isnt there a format that we can all follow to? Wouldnt things be easier like that?

I love Samuel. =)
Happy 20th mthsary!!
(actually its tml. but I'm just too excited.)

Muscle ache!! Its all worthwhile. =P

Thursday is the day with the most breaks. Theres almost a break after every 1 hour of lesson. Slack, but time wasting.

Gp was fine, geography was fine, maths was fine, lit lecture was kinda boring. PE was body combat lesson today. Learning how to fight. Its rather violent actually. Punching people with weird facial expressions, kicking chairs and dustbins... Thats how the instructor taught us. VIOLENT.

I took bus 53 with Bao Qi, Dorathy, Jeanette, Yang Hao and Quelyn just now. I was sitting with Bao Qi at the back though. We had tired legs. Hehe. It was nice having company on the way home. =) Oh yes, we wan to go outttttttttt!! Get away from the mad rush with the syllabus in school for a little while.

I spotted a mistake with Mr Tan's solution on the whiteboard today. See how much I pay attention during lessons. Heh. =P I'm proud of myself for not drifting away. But I was quite retarded when everyone was on the new set of notes already, I was still pondering over something in the past tutorial. I was thinking and trying to understand when everyone had moved on already. Then when I stopped thinking, I was like "WHAT WHAT??" I looked over at Khar Loo and she told me we are on the other set of notes already. I was like 2 pages behind them. Sotong.

Does appearance matter so much? It seems like everyone is obsessed in the image of looking perfect. Is "perfect" possible? Who sets the perfect image? Who said that you need to have certain curves or a certain kind of look to be beautiful? No one said that having fats means you cant look good. No one said that being thin is a crime. I feel that exercising is to keep yourself fit and not to boost your appearance.

I saw this girl that day and I told Jean this morning. And once I mentioned her name, Jean went "You met her? She is sooooooooo thin now la!" I certainly hope that this is not what she wants. She looked weak and very pale.

Appearance doesnt mean anything. Be proud of how you look like and who you are. Imagine if everyone has that "perfect" body, wouldnt the world be such a boring place? You will be looking at everyone being "perfect", isnt that not perfect, not beautiful anymore?

I am still proud of myself. I am still alive and kicking. I still can live my life happily. I still have people loving me and appreciating me. I still have Samuel. Who said that you need to look good to attract others? I have proven otherwise.

So people, start loving yourself, TODAY.

Reply for tags:
Timo: thanks. I will, of course. =/
Samuel: Now I want! But you should be sick of hearing me singing over the phone already. =P
Belinda: JC's cool. My class is GREAT. =D
No. 1 blog fan: I'm updating now! =)

Econs lecture today SUCK. I dont know what the hell was the lady talking about. The only thing I know about her is that she loves laughing at her own jokes. Weird habit. She seems to be the only one who understood the jokes anyway. Blah.

PE was alright. Learning about what we will be tested for NAPFA in the 1st week of May. We will be having a screening test soon by the PE teacher. I certainly hope I pass this, or else it will be loads of afternoon PE for me. NOOOOoo...

After school, I went for Judo PT with Colleen. Personally, I think its FUN! HA. We ran 8 rounds around the CCA block. I'm not that bad at this. Running is alright for me, I guess. Gym training next. Tiring but FUN. Ha. Dorathy was at the gym too.

I think my arms and legs muscles will hurt tomorrow. But, it was satisfying to run 8 rounds then go work out. Great feeling.

Thats about it.

May Jean get well sooooooooooon!

Yiching wants to read my entry. =D My no. one blog fan. Heh. SO sweet to know that someone out there in AUSTRALIA is looking forward to my every blog entry.

Everyone is falling ill recently. Jean was absent from school today. And so is Khar Loo. She had been absent for 2 days already. Oh well, I hope everyone gets well soon and head back to school. =/ GET WELL SOON!

I want to pon Lit on friday!! Joanne and Qiao Die are going to Kbox! I want to go toooooo! DAMN. Why do all my lessons end so late? Not fair at all.

Samuel came to find me again! Okay, I asked him to. He wanted to as well. =P Walked around Ang Mo Kio central, for the fun of it. We went into this so-called shopping mall and Samuel commented "there are more promoters than customers here." There were so few people there and.........Mingkai and his friend appeared. Ha. What a coincidence.

Thats all for my day. Samuel said, " Do your homework arr!!" when we parted. So sweet of him eh? =/

I'm done with Math homework. I wonder if everyone is wrong or it is the answers given that are wrong.

Went to the dentist yesterday. The dentist installed a small spring in my mouth. Dont worry, my teeth dont hurt much this time. Samuel accompanied me there although he had to wake up extra early as my appt was at 10.30am. =)

After that we went shopping. I was so tempted to buy so much stuff. If Jean was shopping with me instead, I would have bought a lot of things. Ha. I wonder who will make a better shopping partner. Okay, I like both. There was this bag with a monkey face on it. There was the $49.90 black watch. There was many earrings and nice notebooks and files and clothes and so many many many more. Long time since I've been to Orchard and there are so many new things. AH. I miss the hols.

After shopping, we went to Borders as it was still early. Flipped through cookbooks and I got damn hungry even though we just had lunch. =/ We looked through a book on brain teasers together. Here are some..

What a poor man has, a rich man wants, and is better than great sex?
ans: Nothing.

What starts with E, ends with E. It is not just E but it usually contains only one letter?
ans: envelope.

On halloween, a boy dressed in black was crossing a road. He had a black mask covering his face. The street lamps there were faulty. A black car, which has all its headlights spoilt, was driving along the same road. The car was about to hit the boy when the driver stopped the car immediately. How did the driver see the boy?
ans: its daytime!

Which 3 letters can be used to describe 1. a dirty animal, 2. dirty stuff, 3. a dirty hobby?
ans: 1. rat, 2. tar, 3. art.

Okay, there are many many more but I cannot remember. It is a really entertaining book. =D

We went home after that in bus 162. =)

I love Samuel. I love spending yesterday with him.